Implicit


Phil
~~~~

Strange thing about the three of them. You watch them on tele, decide they're colleagues and friends; they've got great chemistry and that's what gives the show the edge it has, wide over everything else.

Then you meet them, and realise they're actually mates. They like one another, respect one another, get on with one another.

And you never know anything else unless they want you to.

Odd, then, that I was reminded of a night months ago; John and I sitting in the lounge of the flat I rent in Manchester, watching television in the early hours of the morning. I can see us now, slumped on the sofa, feet up on the coffee table, packet of cigarettes and a six-pack between us.

We were watching some god-awful soft porn on one of the digital channels, and just to complete the mood of a university bed-sit, John pointed to the female lead with her legs akimbo and said, "I'd do her."

"Did her last week." It just slipped out.

John laughed, took up the remote, and switched channels. "Done her and her." Again. Channel 4 was showing Spice World. "Done all of them."

Channel 5 was the porn, Sky One was some American franchised Sci-Fi. A doctor, not bad looking I thought; "I'd do her."

It carried on, us acting like testosterone-fuelled, drunken teenagers. One of the UKTV channels was showing Top Gear, Richard Hammond cocking about in some huge great tank, and I don't know what made me say, "I'd definitely do him."

John looked at me, assessing as he does in that intense way that he has, then he turned back to the tele and said, "You can't, Clarkson's already doing him."

Brushed off as the joke it was supposed to be, and we laughed about it.

But as I followed Richard Hammond's overly camp Morgan back to Jeremy Clarkson's Cotswolds manor, the conversation came back to me, striking me as beautifully ironic.

~

Richard
~~~~~~~

How much more obvious could he make it?!

"Jesus, Jez!" I couldn't help but laugh at the apparent shock on his face. "You two were practically having sex up there!"

"Oh, please." But even James was nodding, and usually he's oblivious to Jeremy's flirting. Not to mine, unfortunately. "It was an interview!"

Still protesting. I could see Phil across the car park, against his BMW, having a cigarette before driving to... wherever it was he was supposed to be next I guess.

"You met your match." That was James, teasing Jez, which he only does when he's confident he has foolproof ammo.

"He's a prick." His soft tone made me smile.

"So?"

I looked at James, who shrugged slightly and smiled. He'd been watching Phil all day, I knew that. He'd clocked my interest the night we'd taped that first episode of Petrolheads but when we'd arrived this morning Phil had been standing smoking outside the portacabin; black ribbed sweater, over soft denim, spring breeze playing in his blond hair.

As we'd said hello and gone inside, James had leaned in and said, right in my ear, "Nice."

He has a great appreciation for men, has this incredible radar for the gay, the straight, the 'swinging both ways' and the 'might be persuaded'.

I didn't have to ask him which category Phil fell into. That one word alone had told me. He wouldn't have wasted breath if there wasn't a chance.

We'd spent all day watching and assessing; poor guy, especially when Jeremy clocked what we were doing sometime after lunch. The first rehearsal of the interview, then, didn't go so well. He was hostile and petty and in return Phil pushed back, giving as good as he got until the director called for a break and quietly begged Jeremy to stop acting like a dick.

James and I had a word too, reassuring him as friends should with phrases such as 'arsehole', 'jealous wanker' and 'pigheaded alpha male'.

Then Phil approached us, offered us a cigarette - which James and I accepted and Jez turned down with a grunt - and took Jeremy off to one side.

We may be grown-up, responsible adults, but both James and I would kill to know what was said. Because the next rehearsal was the start of something beautiful - two alpha males locking horns. During the actual interview in the afternoon, Phil backed down slightly, posture almost submissive at times, putting the challenge instead into his eyes and his words.

By the time the audience left in the early evening, Jez was hooked; he wanted Phil just as much as I did.

It was he who suggested, "Ask him if he wants to go for a drink."

And James who responded, "Screw that. Ask him if he wants to come back to Jeremy's with us for sex."

~

What made me smile was the way he was leaning on the roof of his car, smoking slowly. I wondered if he was killing time before his drive, or waiting for us to make a move.

I put one hand on his back - I wanted to touch, wanted to feel hard strength under the warm wool - and his smile when he lazily turned to look at me was worth it. Open and genuine in place of some of the grimaces he'd been throwing Jez's way most of the day.

"Hi." His voice in reality is so different to what people who don't know him expect to come out of his mouth. Softly spoken instead of bullish; gentle and unassuming. Not like any of us. Or maybe it's just that we've been around each other so long and know each other so well, we see each other completely differently to how we once did. We definitely know one another much, much better.

I didn't really know Phil - I was trusting James' judgement that he wouldn't take a swing at me for what I was about to suggest. We were both trusting James - trusting one another - with our careers and our lives as we knew them. Then again, we had from the start.

"Hi."

He offered me another smoke and I shook my head. "I'm supposed to be quitting."

"So am I. For the last two years."

"Some things are impossible to give up."

The way he looked at me, I knew he knew I wasn't talking about the nicotine habit.

He went back to leaning on the car, taking a long drag on the cigarette - for a second I couldn't tear my eyes from his mouth, wondering what he was going to taste like, how he'd be....

Jumping the gun a tad.

"How do you keep it quiet?"

Leaning against the car next to him, back against the warm BMW, I closed my eyes and thought about the conversations the three of us had had at the start on that very subject.

"Plain sight," I told him honestly. "No one would believe us if we told them. They probably wouldn't believe it if Jeremy snogged me on camera. Show just enough and everyone thinks it's just a joke."

It was a while before Phil said, "I think it's anything but a joke."

"And you'd be right, mate."

"Why tell me?"

"I didn't tell you."

"Why... confirm it? Not that I.... You know I won't tell anyone."

I looked across at him then, met his pale eyes in the bright, cold evening sunshine and smiled what James calls my 'gigolo smile'. "We'd like you to join us tonight."

By the looks of his smile, he'd at least suspected it was coming. But there was nothing smug about him, his quiet acceptance was as genuine as it got. "I'd love to. In fact, I'd be honoured."

~

Phil
~~~

In plain sight was right enough. Crossing the car park with Richard I realised just how much wasn't spoken out loud.

A brief nod, James' slightly nervous smile and Jeremy's concise directions all given without a word to reveal why I was still there when I should have been on my way back to Manchester.

I followed James and Richard - Jeremy having sped off ahead, presumably to change the sheets or something. I could only assume the coast was otherwise clear, so to speak.

It was Jeremy I was worried about. I'd fancied Hammond for years - knowing through a mutual friend that like me he wasn't as straight as his public persona might suggest. And it was obvious just from spending a couple of hours with them that James would accept me just so long as I didn't hurt Richard in any way.

But if today had told me anything it was that Jeremy was the pack leader off screen as well as on. He'd okay'd this, obviously, or I wouldn't be on my way to his home, but whereas I was happy to grab and be grabbed by the other two the moment we got through the front door, Jeremy and I would have to set some ground rules, even if they - like everything else here - were unspoken.

Did I fancy Clarkson? No. But the idea of getting my dick up his ass was too delicious to resist.

Strange how things work out.

~

Richard
~~~~~~

The trick is to make a guy feel comfortable. There are many ways to do this. Getting him up against the wall in the hall and putting my tongue down his throat is my absolute favourite.

James closed the door with a quiet click, the sound lost somewhere in the rushing of blood from... well, everywhere, into my dick. Without a moment's hesitation, Phil arms came around me and his tongue sliding greedily over mine.

I'd lost control of the kiss within a second of initiating it and that should have been a bit scary with a man I'd only met twice. But I could feel James behind me, just leaning back against the opposite wall, watching us. James once thumped a guy in a pub for stamping on my foot. I wasn't sure what punishment sexual assault would carry, but I had an inkling it would mean Jeremy getting a new patio.

Phil wasn't hurting me. A million miles from it. His large hands were spread, hot on my back, one knee bent, foot against the wall, reducing his height so he was closer into me, making it feel like I was already surrounded by him. I could feel him hard against my stomach and for a moment he was everything: taste, smell, pure sensation. My dick throbbed once and I realised I didn't care how or what he did as long as he did something that eased the pressure.

It was the same my first time with Jez.

As I moved to thrust once against his hard thigh, I felt James behind me, felt his breath on the back of my neck then a cool, wet kiss at the top of my spine, hands on my waist.

And a second later my mouth was bereft - Phil leaning over my left shoulder to kiss James with the same enthusiasm and grace with which he'd kissed me. The spike of jealousy was breathtaking and I laughed, softly, at myself, leaning into him, feeling James pressing against my back, four hands still stroking me with sure, short movements and tightly gripping fingers.

My fingers splayed across the woollen-covered chest touched something cold - the metal tab of his zip - and I pulled. Thwarted. It was open as low as it was going to go. Not to be defeated, I got my hand between us, up under the heavy sweater; hot, smooth skin, soft belly, hard chest... sensitive nipples. He shuddered when I pinched one and all I could think of for was getting my mouth around it.

"Don't eat him all at once."

I admit my head snapped up - guilty as hell with my hand trapped between warm wool and flushed flesh. James - shameless that he is once he's on a roll - didn't break the kiss. Dark hair falling across his face, head tilted opposite to Phil's, mouths restless. So fucking sexy. There wasn't enough room in my jeans, not enough room in Phil's either from what I could feel.

Jez was standing at the bottom of the stairs, arms crossed, shoulder against the wall, one bare foot on the wooden laminate floor, the other bent back on the bottom stair, toes curled. I should have been the one to go to him, but Phil peeled himself away from the wall, away from James' mouth on his throat, away from me leaning into him, me craving the solidity of him and went instead.

James pulled me into him as we watched Phil's ass cross the hall. Arms around me, my back to his front, leaning in to kiss my neck, to bite gently, but I knew he didn't take his eyes from the jaguar and the panther for a single moment.

~

Phil
~~~

It was one thing giving as good as he gave in the studio, another to square up to him in his own home with the taste of his two lovers in my mouth.

I don't do meek, but I can do tact.

"You have to be okay with this, or I'll leave now."

He nodded. "If I wasn't okay with this, you wouldn't be here."

I knew that. But it wasn't the point.

"You and I...."

That wasn't the point either, apparently.

"They want you."

A glance back over my shoulder, the incredibly sensual sight of James with his arms around Richard, chin on the shorter man's head, both of them watching us, waiting; Richard very obviously, very beautifully, aroused. I just wanted to get his fly open, get my mouth around his cock, feel his fingers in my hair, have him urge me on.

Turning back to Jeremy, "You don't."

He leaned in, murmured into my ear, "I want to watch you with them."

I'd never have believed Jeremy Clarkson could turn me on. "You mean, them with me."

Leaning back, he smiled. Then he put out his hand and ran the firm tips of his fingers over the outline of my erection, trapped almost painfully in my jeans. My heart hammering, blood rushing south, his touch making me lean towards him even when I didn't really want to.

Then his hand was gone, and he was walking up the stairs.

Someone slapped my ass - could have been either of them - and I followed him up, James and Richard behind me.

The room was at the back of the house. Guest room by the looks of it, but with a high, kingsize bed, cool white cotton sheets, and an en suite bathroom. All the details I managed to take in before Richard moved in front of me, shrugged off his jacket and unbuttoned his shirt. My hands went to his waist of their own accord, resting there while I followed his fingers with my eyes; hairless chest, flat stomach, jeans riding on his narrow hips. I traced my thumbs down along the 'V' of muscle to the waistband and watched him unfasten his fly.

My brain quit functioning and my cock took over the thought processes. Lifting him with ease, I turned him, dumped him on the edge of the bed and knelt on the light carpet, pulling the tight denim over his hips and thighs, his boxers with it, stripping them off him. He parted his knees and reached for me, palms skimming my face, fingers twisting in my hair, thumbs stroking the tops of my ears. I hummed as I stretched my lips over his erection, tonguing the purple, silky head, sank down onto him until my nose was nested in the soft brown pubes and he was settled at the back of my throat.

I heard him groaning softly, felt his hands lighten on me and I lifted off just a fraction. Immediately the pressure was back and I showed him I liked it, sucking hard on him, tongue lapping up and down the silky cock. He got the message, loud and clear, tightened his fingers in my hair, nails against my scalp, holding me in place. All I could smell with the heavy scent of him - sweat and arousal - all I could taste was his salty / sweet bitterness. All I could feel was all I wanted to feel; his hands, his heated skin under mine.

I had no idea where the other two were, what they were doing. At that moment, and for a while, I didn't care.

~

James
~~~~~

Richard's one of those people who does everything with the same level of enthusiasm; no matter how stupid or dangerous.

He was all over Phil from the moment we walked through Jeremy's front door. Frankly I was surprised Phil didn't go down on him right there in the hall; he wanted to, looking back at us over his shoulder. The idea wasn't a bad one either; me holding Richard while Phil's blond head bobbed at his crotch, sucking him off.

But the sight of Richard lying on his back on the bed in just his open white shirt, knees bent of the edge, Phil kneeling between his legs still fully clothed, sucking on his cock like it was the last one on earth; that was a good sight too.

I could help it. I leaned across the bed, covered Richard's gasping mouth with my own, stuck my tongue down his throat and had it sucked on, hard. I could feel the vibrations of Richard's nonsensical words - something he only does when it's really, really good, and lifted my head, turned to watch up close Phil's throat muscles working my lover's erection.

I saw Richard's hands loosen for a second; Phil's head rise then fall again. I caught sight of a hand between tight thighs, gently rolling Richard's balls in a hot palm, fingers pressing into the firm stretch of skin behind them. Driving Richard fast towards a hard climax.

We didn't want him to come that quickly, but no way was Richard going to stop it. Jeremy had distanced himself from proceedings for the time being - sitting on the two-seater leather sofa that had seen its own action over the last six months.

So I moved off the bed, knelt on the floor behind Phil and kissed the back of his taut neck, ran my hands up inside his sweater, across his back and around to pinch both nipples. His head came up, pulling oxygen into his lungs as he made this incredible noise - halfway between a cry and a moan. Richard protested wildly, and I watched his hands scrape around Phil's neck, leaving red lines on his pale skin.

I could feel Phil's heart hammering under my hands, bent to bite his throat at the same time as Richard sat up and kissed him hard, demanding, trying to think straight, trying not to beg for that mouth back on his cock because if he had I couldn't have stopped Phil from giving him exactly what he wanted.

But when he pulled back, breathing hard, he seemed to have it under control. I lifted the black sweater over Phil's head and he twisted into me, hands cupping my throat, fingers stroking through my hair, mouth claiming mine. I could taste Richard on his tongue and it was one of the sexiest things I'd ever experienced; the flavour of my lover in the mouth of this man who was practically a stranger to me.

The thrill of him unbuttoning my shirt was incredible. His tongue restless against mine, his fingers stroking more of me the more he revealed, and the knowledge that Richard and Jeremy were watching us. I dropped one hand to his crotch, following the line of his cock, unzipping as I swallowed his low moan, plunging my hand inside his underwear to get a hold of him, exposing him to the cool air of the room, displaying him for the others to get a good look.

He shifted against me when I did that, and I thought for a second he was going to pull away from me, thought he might be uncomfortable with the eyes of the others solely on his thick cock and heavy balls. But whether he was or not he stayed out, didn't pull away from my kiss or my hands, let me stroke him slowly while I pushed the remaining button through and got my free hand down the back of his loosened jeans.

Something inside me wanted to see how far I could push. Something about him not being Richard - the man I was deeply in love with - and not being Jeremy - the man who was deeply in love with me - gave me a feeling of sexual freedom I'd never felt before. One of his hands had dropped to my hip and I had no idea where the other was, but he didn't flinch when I pushed my index finger along the hot crack of his ass.

I can't remember ever wanting to fuck someone as much as I did him at that moment.

~

Richard
~~~~~

No way was James having all the fun. I could see it in his expression - that wonderful predatory look he gets on rare occasions. I've seen it in his eyes when he's been leaning over me, buried deep, or when I've been kneeling with his ankles over my shoulders pressing into him.

There was a different feeling, having a stranger in the room with us, touching and being touched by someone without the emotional attachment we have to one another.

James was definitely feeling it - revelling in it. I watched him display our guest for Jeremy and I to see and caught Phil's momentary reaction - just a brief surge of panic which he got a grip of quickly and made himself relax. I knew James had felt it, watch him release Phil's fly and put his free hand down the back of his jeans, pushing him, some deep-seated need to find his limit - to find that point he wouldn't go beyond.

Reaching for Phil's hand, I just held it. I knew the moment James' finger breached him, knew it would only be the tip and he wouldn't go far without lube, but the knowing - the grip of Phil's hand around mine - almost made me come.

I glanced at Jeremy, sitting with his legs apart on the sofa, hand rubbing his groin obscenely - so fucking hot.

When Phil broke the kiss I don't know what I expected, but his words definitely had the desired effect.

To James, "We both know you want to fuck me, so do it." And turning to me, "But I want to be inside Richard when you do."

The lube, the condoms, all in the top drawer next to the bed. We've always wanted to know if actual guests ever found the contents and what they said when they did, but we've never asked.

Phil, though... Phil just commented, "Jesus, Jeremy, you've got bloody broadminded friends."

It might have broken the heavy tension in the room, but it was just breathless enough, his voice just rough enough not to.

Then I had his full attention, narrow eyes locked with mine, large hands stroking me everywhere, talented mouth in the dip of my collarbone.

"Lie down," he instructed quietly, and I did what I was told, stripping off my shirt, grabbing a pillow and using it to raise my bum off the bed. Spreading my legs, twisting to look at him with a wiggle of my eyebrows, he smiled as he rolled on a condom and shifted into place. "If I hurt you..."

"...you'll be the first to know."

~

James
~~~~~

I watched, transfixed by the two men on the bed.

Richard on his front, arms above his head, legs spread wide. It's not just the media he's a slut for.

I undressed quickly and knelt on the mattress, glancing at Jeremy who had his fly undone and his dick out, unsurprisingly, then back to where Phil was pressing three lubricated fingers into Richard's relaxed body, just to the first knuckle then out, a couple of times until our impatient lover swore softly at him and he instantly responded by going in as far as he could and gently, so carefully, rotating his wrist.

Richard yelled something I couldn't repeat, lifting his ass off the pillow, pressing back against Phil's hand.

I could feel the sweat already on my forehead, my own cock throbbing painfully just at the sight of them.

Phil moved, pressed the tip of his latex-sheathed cock against Richard's open hole, and pushed inside, slowly, making that wonderful sound again, almost like a beast, caught somewhere between pleasure and pain. Richard rode up on all fours to meet him, and was slowly, surely pressed back down into the pillow after a couple of slow, deep thrusts.

Phil's hands ended up spreading at Richard's sides, wrists against his armpits, mouth lowering to the back of his smooth neck to kiss and nip.

Then he shifted again, carefully, parting his own legs in invitation.

I knelt between them, stroking the firm cheeks, rolling a condom over an aching hard-on, dripping gel into his crack. He stilled, buried deep inside Richard's trembling body, murmuring words to the man beneath him in that softly spoken voice, so quiet that I couldn't make out what he was saying, just the soft tone and gentle timbre.

As I pushed into him, much more than just two fingers, he pushed back, out of Richard, meeting me halfway, already establishing a rhythm between the three of us. My fevered mind imagined I was fucking Richard through Phil; that every one of my thrusts took us both deeper into the man I was in love with. It felt incredible - more than incredible. He was different to the other two, tight, like a man who rarely takes a cock up his ass, like Richard and Jeremy felt when we started this affair. He sounded different, his cries lower, rougher, harsh grunts of pleasure and pain.

I could see Richard's face as he twisted to see us, the half-closed eyes, open mouth, flushed skin; the ecstasy there.

Reaching around Phil I stroked Richard's waist and hip, feeling their movements synchronised to mine - hard muscles flexing. I dropped a kiss to Phil's back and licked the sweat from the line of his spine which curved and arched as he thrust forward and back.

Richard's hand reached back and grabbed at mine on the mattress, knitting our fingers as I speeded up, taking Phil with us, pushing, pushing until his came with an oddly soft cry, stilling with his cock buried in Richard's shaking body. I felt Richard's orgasm through his hand - tensing and releasing, heard his shocked yell as he came into the pillow, and I was a moment behind them, thrusting once more, hard, into Phil's welcoming body, trapping him inside Richard, coloured lights dancing in my vision as I emptied myself into the crucible of the condom.

~

Jeremy
~~~~~

James and Richard rolled into their usual post-coital position; Richard's back to James' front, James wrapped possessively around him.

Phil stayed lying on his front, head rested on arms, watching the two men as they dozed off to sleep.

My turn.

Undressing the rest of the way, I crouched by the bed, arms on the mattress, and Phil turned his head to look at me, all sated relaxation.

"You okay?" How did I know what he needed after sex? Richard needs to be physically close, if just for a short while. James is happy to doze as long as we're near by.

Phil seemed happy enough as he smiled, contented. "Yeah."

"The three of you were bloody amazing. So hot.... Richard turned me on the moment I met him. James... James I've loved from the first moment we touched. And they both wanted you." Hand between my legs I touched myself. Not easy to have watched them and not come. Phil has a physical presence that encourages an animalistic attraction.

He looked at me, not challenging but assessing. "And you want me, don't you?"

One nod; I almost expected a fight. But he smiled lavishly, closed his eyes and parted his legs.

Reaching out I put one hand on one ass cheek and he met me in a long, lazy kiss - tongue duelling, mouth open against mine, waiting when I pulled back.

"Sure?"

"You've been watching us all night. I think you need to fuck me, Jeremy, to reset the balance."

"What if I wanted you for me, not for them?"

"I'm not sure if I'd believe that."

Reaching out with my free hand I combed through his sweat-damp hair, thumb brushing his forehead. Stroked his neck, and throat, broad shoulder, flat back, the roll at his hip, round ass. Over a firm thigh, smooth skin on the inside, plum balls, and large cock, semi-hard between the crease of his thigh and the Egyptian cotton sheet.

"You're a very desirable man."

He chuckled softly. "The three of you are doing wonders for my ego. Now, do you want me or not?"

They'd left the condoms sprinkled across the bed - Richard's naturally a messy git - so I grabbed one. Almost came just putting the thing on, and again kneeling up on the bed, between Phil's strong legs and using the lubrication James had used, pressing inside his hot, open body.

He grunted once, fingers scratching the sheet, as I settled into a slow but hard tempo. Richard opened his eyes then, saw us and for a moment I thought I saw danger in his eyes when he looked at me. But instead he reached across to wrap his hand around Phil's, index finger straight, and Phil lifted it to his lips, flicking the tip of his tongue over the nail, sucking gently on it.

I watched Richard's face, and when his eyes flicked across to mine I glanced down and he nodded.

Leaning over Phil, I murmured into his ear. "Come up on all fours."

"Jeremy...."

But Richard was already moving, out of James' arms, waking him, sliding his hand under Phil's stomach as soon as he made the first tentative movement, taking hold of his hardening dick.

"Come up."

He didn't argue this time. He came up onto his knees, with me deep inside him, and Richard's mouth surrounding his erection.

I heard him swear, bright and soft, watched over his shoulder his hands settle so very lightly on Richard's chaos of hair. One arm I wound around his waist, my other hand I curled around the back of Richard's neck, felt the muscles in his throat.

God, he's beautiful. I love watching him do this to James, love having him do it to me. He's very, very good at it.

And by the groans breaking free of Phil's throat, by the way he was pushing back onto me, he appreciated it too.

Slowly I sat back, so I was kneeling, hands at Phil's hips taking him with me, legs straddling mine, Richard's head bobbing at his groin.

And slowly he started to fuck himself on my dick, rising and falling at his own pace, fingers in Richard's hair like he wanted to hold him there but was stopping himself from doing it. I might have done it for him, but I had a suspicion he'd be uncomfortable with that.

He was tight, so tight and it felt so good. I stroked his back, left Richard to him and kept my hands on his body, caressing, teasing, circling his nipples. Arching, leaning back into me, he rose until he was gripping just the tip of my dick, then fell back, yelling hard as he came, Richard swallowing every drop. And I was a second behind him, wrapped in latex deep in Phil's guts, watched by two pairs of beloved eyes.

It was only later, lying in a tangle of hot limbs and sweat, that I wondered why we'd bothered with condoms to fuck if Richard was going to give a blowjob without one. Mind you, it's only rarely he thinks with his brain.

~

Phil
~~~

They move around one another so naturally, so comfortably.

From lying together in bed last night, idly touching, quietly talking, getting to know one another in a completely different way.

To sitting at the breakfast table the following morning, Jeremy cooking a fry-up, Richard padding around reading the newspaper, James making coffee. Domestic. Settled.

And all I could think about was how they'd felt, how they'd tasted, how incredible the previous night had been. How sore I was and how much I missed the ache in all the right muscles.

How addictive was this? I'm envious of them having it, but not of having to keep the secret.

Good coffee, bacon and eggs; showered and ready to go, standing next to the BMW, Jeremy and James in the doorway, Richard at my side.

"Not a word will pass my lips," I promised him genuinely.

He nodded. "I know. In fact... we'd love to have you again, sometime. Call, okay?"

I couldn't believe how lucky, honoured, I felt. Happy.

"Thanks. It's been a real, real pleasure."

He rose up on tip-toe and I bent to meet his mouth in a wonderfully satisfying 'goodbye' kiss.

"See you soon."

I didn't know what to say so I nodded and unlocked the car, climbed in, drove away.

~

"Please welcome, Philip Glenister!"

With the remains of a curry on the table, a packet of fags and a bottle of red wine between us, I watched my episode of Top Gear sitting on the sofa in my rented flat with John beside me.

He took the piss out of my lap. Then he asked me,

"So, did you do Richard Hammond?"

And I shook my head. "No. Clarkson's already doing him."