Fine Wine
Bottle and corkscrew in one hand,
halfway to the lounge to settle in with the Alien DVD box set, James
opened the front door expecting to be confronted by a salesman for art
or religion.
He didn't expect to see Richard standing on the top
step, black leather jacket hanging from his narrow shoulders, silver
Porsche parked up at the curb.
"Hey."
"Hi. Sorry about the time." Pointing to the bottle, he added, "If I'm disturbing something…."
"No. No, come in."
"Thanks."
They stood awkwardly in the hall. "Do you… want a drink?"
Richard smiled. "The pain-killers-mixed-with-alcohol effect might be interesting, but I'll probably get away with a glass."
James put two goblets on to the kitchen table as Richard made himself comfortable.
"How's the leg?"
"It's fine."
"I seriously doubt that."
Richard shrugged. "It's better than it was."
"Should you be driving?"
"Definitely
not. But it's an automatic, very forgiving." Filling both glasses,
James took a seat across from him, grinning to himself. "What?"
"It amuses me. All these incredible cars we get to drive and you're still a sucker for a Porsche."
"Absolutely!
They're gorgeous cars! Not all of them, obviously, but that one is."
James gave sceptical his best shot. "Tell me what else can give you
that much driving thrill for the same cash."
Inclining his head,
taking a sip of the dry white, he chuckled. "This could turn into a
review." Richard's small, shy smile was incredibly endearing. "And I
know you're not here for the scintillating company…."
The smile
vanished. "James, stop it." He watched Richard's long fingers wrapped
around the thick glass stem of his glass. "That night, after dinner
when Jeremy started all this, you said you didn't think I liked you.
Why?"
Watching those fingers caress the glass, James shrugged, "Just vibes."
"On the ferry, on the way to Oslo?"
"Partly."
"Were you really coming on to me?"
He laughed. "No, not really. I was interested in how you'd react, nothing more."
Richard's brown eyes softened. "You do know if I didn't like you there's no way I'd have…."
"Yes. I know that."
"I mean… the things we've done…. It's not something I make a habit of."
"I know that too."
"I just feel like you've been caught up in this… insanity…."
Frowning, James asked, "Is that what this is to you?"
"Of course it is!" Richard sat back. "It's insane! Neither Jeremy or I should be doing this!"
James
ducked his head, staring into the pale liquid in his glass. "That
doesn't stop him loving you." He glanced up, caught the wrinkle of
Richard's forehead and added, "It doesn't stop me loving you either."
Reaching
across the pine tabletop, Richard rubbed his thumb over the back of
James' hand, voice gentle when he explained, "I'm only available on
loan and I don't want to hurt you."
The leap took James a moment
to work out. Then he remembered Swindon. "Oh my God! Jeremy told you,
didn't he? What I said to him the night you were in hospital?" Shaking
his head, he swore without venom, "Bastard!"
"He's concerned."
"So what? He phoned you and told you to come round?"
"No. It was last week. He invited me round to his place. He cooked - or as close to cooking as Jeremy goes - we talked…."
James' eyebrows rose at least an inch and he repeated, "Talked?"
"Talked,
shagged…. Or as close to shagging as we go. Jeremy wanted to call you;
I was the one being selfish. I wanted him to myself for one night."
"So tonight it's my turn?"
"It's not like that…."
"How exactly isn't it like that?"
"That's not why I'm here."
"What?
You don't want me all to yourself." He immediately regretted the
sarcasm when Richard shook his head and shifted off his seat. He turned
his hand and snagged Richard's wrist. "Don't go. Sorry. I just don't
understand where I stand with you. And I need to know. Because I can do
this, and I'm not just 'on loan'. I have real feelings for you."
He
relaxed his grip and Richard's wrist rotated in his fingers, sliding
down until their thumbs linked. He caressed the fingers with long
strokes. And for a few minutes they sat drinking in silence until
Richard's big eyes rose to meet his own.
"The truth is I don't
know how I feel about you or Jeremy. He's still an irritating, smug sod
and so are you. But when I look at him now there's something different.
And it's the same when I look at you." He shrugged once. "That's all I
can give either of you right now. So you've got two choices; carry on,
or not."
"Did you give Jeremy the same choice?"
"I suggested we end it, he asked me if I really wanted to, I said I didn't…."
James smiled affectionately. "Same old Jeremy."
"Yeah."
"Think he could give you up?"
"I honestly don't know."
"I do; he couldn't. And neither can I."
Richard
hesitated, blushed slightly, and nodded. "Okay. And just for your
information, this is the most I've ever talked to another guy since
college."
"I take it Jeremy isn't one for talking either?"
"Would we want him to be? You know what he's like on camera."
"Good point."
James
felt Richard squeeze his hand before he let go. "I better go before
they report the Porsche stolen. I said I was taking a taxi."
"Any reason you didn't?"
"I hate taxi drivers."
He
walked Richard to the door and opened it. Watched him trot down the
steps to the pavement, open the car and after a half a minute, drive
away.
"I love you, Richard," he told the warm night. Then he took the bottle and settled onto the sofa as he'd planned.
Only not with the Aliens box set.