How long had I waited for
this? To hold in my arms
someone who
really wants me, someone whose yearning for me is shining
in those jade
eyes�. Where has this
connection come
from? What is it? Just a man I chose a long time
ago; a
convenience, a dead man whose identity I stole and made my
own. To finally meet my
namesake; alive, warm, as
male, so damn hot, but tempered with that internalised
battle against himself,
that which makes him so achingly beautiful.
The kiss - that sweet, tender kiss, so full of
promise� I can keep Jack,
stay the night and make damn sure he doesn't fly out in
the morning. Mess with
history just this once and ensure
this wonderful man lives longer than just twelve short
hours�.
"Jack, we need
you!"
Toshiko, who trusts me with
her life - would have done if we'd ended up staying here
indefinitely. I would have
protected her, kept her safe,
made sure no one hurt her. I
always keep
my promises unlike some people I know.
The rift is open and it's my duty to step through, to
go back - back to Cardiff,
back to Torchwood, back to waiting for a man I've
already waited over a hundred years for.
What investment do I have there, despite everything I
preach? None.
Nothing. Nada. A bunch of misfits, of
self-interested
wannabes so out of their depth that without me they would
most likely
drown. Do I care?
Owen, with his bed hopping and childish,
pathetic dreams of being in charge, being a man. Gwen, with her one-sided morals
and her
teenage crush on her boss. Tosh
- Tosh
is a good person. She should be
working
with kids or conservation, a scientist curing cancer, with a
loving girlfriend
waiting at home and a cat to sit in her lap during those
long winter nights in
front of the TV. Ianto� Ianto
deserves
someone better, someone not so screwed up.
Someone who wouldn't leave at the first available
opportunity�.
"Jack, please! We need you.
Ianto needs you."
Cheap shot. One
last look at my beautiful captain, that
winning smile playing on those gorgeous lips.
The bravest man I've ever met and it has nothing to
do with his job and
his rank. I know I have to go
with
Tosh�.
How long have I waited for
this? A hundred years, a
thousand more,
to hear that sound, like the universe shrieking. Turning slowly I see in front of
so many
pairs of widening eyes the blue police box materialises
right in front of the
stage. A man steps out through
the
narrow door and leans back against it with the nonchalant
air of an arrogant
Time Lord. He looks so
different but the
expression remains the same and there's still that burning
need in those starry
eyes.
"Doctor�." His
lopsided smile� like he's finally decided
I've passed some sort of test, either that or he's given
up caring about the
results. "You left me."
A shadow flits across his
face - years passing between us.
"I'm sorry."
It's not even a choice.
I've waited for this man all my life, but I know
well enough where my heart has taken up residence. Even if he isn't, I'm a
commitment type of
guy and I know which way that path leads.
I'm happy to walk it. I
kiss Jack
again, one last time, and turn to Tosh.
"Tell Ianto� I'll see
him again."
I spare them both the sight of me running from them
into the arms of the only life I've ever really known, even
if every fibre in
my body and soul is telling me to do just that before he
flies off again
without me. But I'm
through that wooden
door before him and if he says anything to Tosh or Jack I
don't hear it. Then the door is
closed, the deadbolt thrown
on that strange little Yale lock, and I'm back where I most
definitely belong |