AGAINST THE EDGE

by elfin


Burke stopped next to Stuart�s desk and touched the paper that surrounded the bunch of white carnations that lay on Fraiser�s desk.  �Secret admirer, Stuart?�

Overhearing their boss, Robbie cringed, because he�d made that exact comment fifteen minutes earlier without thinking, and he knew what Stuart�s answer was going to be.

�They�re for Mike Jardine,� the sergeant said calmly, easily.  �I�m going to visit his grave at lunchtime, take some flowers.�

Robbie�s only reply had been to squeeze Stuart�s shoulder, and walk away before he lost it in front of the entire office.  Burke�s was to roll his eyes, a gesture that Stuart � bless him � ignored with a slight smile.


Burke had barely sat down when his boss made herself comfortable in the chair opposite his desk, having closed the office door behind her.

�Morning, Ma�am,� he muttered, standing again to remove his jacket and hang it up.

Valerie sat back.  �How are things, Matthew?�

He took a deep breath and dropped back into the leather chair, pulling it up to the desk on which he leaned his elbows.  �Fine.�  He watched her expression, noting that it plainly said she wanted the truth.  �It�s not easy working in the shadow of Jardine�s ghost.�

She nodded.  �I know.  He was here a very long time, he worked with that team for four years, been a copper in Maryhill CID since 1986.  He was very popular and it�s going to take time for people to mourn his death.�

�It�s almost� more than that,� Burke complained.  �Rob and Jackie especially.  It�s like� I don�t know, like they�ve just cut themselves off.  I don�t know half the time if their minds are on the job or not.�

Valerie sat forward with a long, drawn out breath.  �You�re going to have to give them room to sort themselves out.  And� something�s about to break that�s going to make matters a whole lot worse.�

*

There were too many memories attached to the building, despite the fact that they�d only been in it six months.  Michael�s � Burke�s � office especially reminded Robbie of what was no longer at his fingertips.



Michael looked up from the report, blowing air from his lips.  �That�s all we�ve got?�

Robbie nodded, ��fraid so.  We�re still searching but it doesn�t look good.�

�Fuck.�

�If you insist.�

Michael glanced at his DI � seeing his lover.  �Here?� he murmured, �on the desk?  Or�� he leaned forward, �how about you get on your knees under the desk and suck me off?�

Robbie raised his eyebrows, trying not to give away just now much the sound of those words on Michael�s lips � the idea itself � excited him.  �I see we�re working on the jargon.�  Michael smiled, eyes hooded.  Robbie knew he�d do anything for that look.  �Mike� what if someone walks in?�

�You�ll be under the desk, they won�t be able to see you.�

He almost laughed.  �You think you could hold a sensible conversation with your dick in my mouth?�

Michael didn�t answer, instead he pushed his chair back from the desk and unzipped his fly.  Excitement overrode concern, and Robbie rounded the desk and dropped to his knees.



Jackie stared at him, mouth open, as they rose at their boss� command.  �You never did it in his office?!�

�In that chair,� Robbie whispered, �I might have missed some � Mike came a lot, as you know�.�

Jackie pulled a face, trying not to look too closely at what was now Burke�s leather chair as she stepped into his office.  

Some memories were less painful than others, and over the last week Robbie had been telling her of the various places he and Michael had either shared a blowjob or jerked off together.  It would have shocked most of the people who believed they�d known the straight-laced Jardine.  But he was a man in love, lust and desire.  Robbie had shown him things.  Both of them had shown him things, and he had soaked them up while begging for more.

Three minutes later, all the humour had been wiped from her thoughts.

*

�Liam Kennedy, who was jailed last month for three murders, has told his lawyer, the celebrated Karl Mayhew, that he is not guilty of killing Detective Chief Inspector Michael Jardine.

Jardine�s body was found on the south bank of the Clyde on the 14th, two days before Kennedy was arrested.  At the trial, Detective Inspector Jackie Reid told the count that Kennedy admitted to the murder under direct questioning.

Kennedy is now claiming that he was under �extreme duress� when questioned and is appealing just that one conviction.

At the time it was reported that DCI Jardine, who had already been suspended from the investigation into the two deaths Kennedy was later convicted of, committed suicide because of depression.

Pathologist evidence later refuted this, saying Jardine had been attacked and was already unconscious when he went into the water and drowned.  No other suspect was questioned about his murder.

Kennedy�s claim will be heard by a judge on Friday, and if an appeal is granted, there will be an internal investigation into the handling of the matter by the police.�

*

�You have to be joking?� Jackie was on her feet in a second.  �He confessed to me!  He had a gun at my head, not the other way around!�

Burke held up one hand defensively.  �Jackie.  I know,� he promised her.

But she wasn�t reassured.  �I won�t let Michael�s name be dragged through the dirt again!� she told her boss, voice tight with emotion.

�Jackie!�

�Jackie�.�  Rob leaned forward, reaching out to touch her shoulder.  He knew what was going through her mind, didn�t dare think about it too hard.  �We�ll protect him,� he murmured gently.  �It�s okay.�

Burke glanced between them, trying once again to work out what was going on in Jardine�s old team, what it was about the dynamic that he was missing.

�What if� the pathologist was wrong?  He did say that the wound might have happened on his way into the water.�

Robbie spoke before Jackie could.  �Mike didn�t commit suicide.  He was a Christian most of his life!  It�s a mortal sin.�

�What, and shagging his work colleagues isn�t?�

Catching his breath, Robbie froze.  But Burke was looking straight at Jackie, and this time he felt no compunction to intervene.  Jackie leaned across and slapped Burke hard before she got to her feet and left the office, slamming the door so hard the grilled glass shook in its frame.

Burke too rose, Robbie hoped with the intention of calling her back and apologising.  But he sat down again slowly.

Robbie watched him, relief and anger vying for domination in his next statement.  �You deserved that.�

�I know.�  He shook his head.  �I just can�t�� he sighed, ��can�t work out how to deal with this.�

�She�s grieving for a man she loved!  Just go easy on her.�  Robbie swallowed, suddenly worried that he was going to lose it too.  

In the last week he�d managed to get his own emotions under control, at least enough that he could bare to be at the station.  He still found himself looking up, expecting to see Michael walk around the corner.  And every time he did, and realised that Michael was never going to, it hurt anew.

�Look.�  He took a deep breath.  �The four of us worked together for years.  Jackie, Stuart and Michael worked together for years before that, Jackie and Michael worked together with Jim Taggart for years before that!  We�re close.  We haven�t lost a boss, we�ve lost a friend.  A very dear, beloved friend.�

Burke nodded.  �I shouldn�t have said�.  I�ve never known anyone inspire this level of loyalty before.  That�s all.  My style� well, it doesn�t prompt friendship and after-hours drinks in the pub, if you know what I mean.�

Robbie chuckled.  �The four of us used to go for curries, pizzas, you name it.  Birthday parties, house-warmings�� the memory hit him like a freight train and he bowed his head for a moment.

Burke either didn�t notice the other man�s distress or ignored it.  �We�ll deal with Kennedy as and when.  I�ll� do my best to keep Jardine�s name clean.�

Robbie looked up and nodded.  �Thanks.�  He got to his feet, pausing at the door.  �By the way, his name was Michael.�

*

Robbie finally found Jackie on the roof.  

Michael had used to come up here when he was upset or needed time alone.



Robbie stood in the doorway out onto the roof for a moment, eyes looking over Michael as he leaned on the low wall lost in the view of the sunset over Glasgow.

He loved to watch this man, found him fascinating.  The deep red-amber glow of the sunset was highlighting the blond of his hair, playing on his face.

Robbie felt a spiral of arousal and affection.  Taking a couple of steps forward, he placed a hand on Michael�s back, rubbing gently.

�Hey.�

Michael turned his head, smiling at Robbie as his lover moved to stand next to him, leaning against the low wall, back to the city.  

�You okay?�  Michael nodded once and let his gaze drift back to the city.  �Listen, Mike� believe� whatever you want to believe.�

Michael smiled wanly. �What?  That Jim�s up there, watching over me?  I think he�d have something to say about us, don�t you?�

Robbie chuckled.  �I don�t know.�  He turned, moving closer so that his arm brushed the other man�s as he folded them on top of the wall.  �I wish I�d known him.�

It was Michael�s turn to be amused.  �I�m glad you didn�t.  I don�t think you�d have got on.�

Robbie frowned.  �Why?�

�You have a very� interesting way of working, Rob.  I�m not sure he�d have approved.�

�And you don�t think he�d have approved of us either?�

�Absolutely not!  When he thought Jackie and I were getting on too well he threatened to have her transferred.�  A small smile played over Robbie�s lips.  �I want to believe it�s him,� Michael admitted quietly.  �I mean, we all want to believe that the people we lose do watch over us, don�t we?�

Robbie shrugged.  �I don�t know � it�s kinda creepy when you think about it.�

Michael looked at him.  �What if something happened to me?  Would you believe some guy who claimed I was speaking to him from beyond the grave?�

Robbie thought about it, and found he didn�t want to.  �I don�t know, Mike.  It�s not something I spend a lot of time thinking about.�

Michael smiled to himself.  �Well if I do, it won�t be just me watching over you, believe me!  I know the kinds of things you get up to.  I�ll be selling tickets to the other residents!�

Robbie turned his head, mouth hanging open.  �Aye, and considering the things we get up to together you�ll be looking up rather than down.�

Laughing, Michael leaned over slightly, pressing his arm along Robbie�s from elbow to shoulder.  �I don�t think sex is a sin.�

�It is with you.�  Unable to resist, Robbie leaned in and stole a quick kiss.  �I love you, you know that?�  He thought he could make a hobby out of making his boss blush.  Especially if it meant seeing that wonderful melting expression in his eyes and the softening of his mouth�.



Stepping up behind Jackie, Robbie put his arms around her waist.  He didn�t speak.  There was nothing to say right then, and he didn�t want her to hear the strain in his voice as tears sprang to his eyes.

�I can�t do this anymore,� she stammered eventually.  �I thought I could, but� to have that man in Michael�s office�.�  Robbie pressed a kiss to her hair.  �I can�t believe how much I miss him.  I thought time was supposed to heal�.�  He could only shake his head against hers.  �I don�t what I�ll do, but I can�t�.�

�Don�t leave me,� Robbie whispered finally.  �If you went too�.�  He choked up again for a second.

Sighing, he straightened, resting his chin on her head.  �One evening, when we were up here, I told him I loved him.  The look on his face� I will never forget.�  He felt her hands squeeze his arms.

�To hear those words�.�  He could feel her crying now.  �Oh, God, Robbie�.  I�d give anything just to hold him again.�

He nodded, his own tears flowing freely.  He wouldn�t have been able to speak even if he could think of something comforting to say.

But he couldn�t.

It had been almost six weeks since Michael�s death.  And nothing was better, nothing was easier.

Jackie felt his loss every minute of every day.  If anything, it was worse now, because time had just shown them how life was without Michael.  It had healed sweet F.A.

*

This was the first time they�d been back to the house since the day they�d found out Michael had left it to them.

They knew it needed clearing out.  They�d thrown away any foodstuffs that would have otherwise gone off, turned off the electricity to most of the appliances, and locked the door.

Jackie wondered into the kitchen, gaze catching on the empty bottle of whiskey still sitting on the surface next to the sink.

�What the hell was he doing with this here anyway?� she asked, mostly to herself.

�Stuart says he bought it that afternoon,� Robbie informed her from the hallway.  Like every other murder victim on their patch, they knew all of Michael�s movements on the day of his death, every time he used a credit or debit card, everyone he spoke to, everywhere he went.

But unlike every other murder victim, every point on the graph which made up that day was something personal to them.

He stepped into the living room.  

There was a layer of dust on everything, but apart from that it was just how they�d left it.

Sliding her arm through his, Jackie came to stand beside him.  She smiled gently.  �That sofa saw some action, didn�t it?�



Curling her fingers into Michael�s hair, Jackie leaned back in his arms, eyes closed, head thrown back.

His large hands stroked down her sides and up over her back as she moved slowly in his lap.

Trying to get deeper, Michael shifted his hips forward, but her position didn�t let him move too much and he was forced to let her lead this.

It was what she�d wanted, for him to give up to her the control he gave so often and so easily up to Robbie.  She loved this side of him, loved to watch this proud man submit to his lover.

�Jackie�.�  Opening her eyes she looked straight into blue so deep she thought she might drown.  �Please�.�

She slowed, tightening herself around him as she bent to catch his moan in her mouth.

�You�re enjoying�� it was Michael�s turn to drop his head back, �� torturing me,� he complained.

She leaned down, kissing his shoulder and neck, licking a path around the base of his throat, where she�d seen Robbie hold him on numerous occasions.

His hands were gripping her hips, trying to move her onto him.  She smiled to herself, and after another long, deep kiss, she leaned back and quickened her rhythm.

Robbie closed the front door quietly and padded into the living room.  The sight of them was incredible.  Jackie wantonly finding her own pleasure in Michael�s body, not that Michael was complaining too loudly�.

Michael didn�t even open his eyes when he spoke.

�Don�t just stand there, Robbie.�



�Aye, it did that.�



Michael looked up, remote control dangling from his fingers where he lay stretched out on the sofa.

�Hi ya,� he greeted Robbie as his lover walked casually into the living room.

Robbie gave Michael a long look, from his ruffled blond hair, over the cream sweater hugging his torso, long legs clad in blue jeans, down to his bare feet and wiggling toes.  �How are you feelin�, Gorgeous?�

Michael shrugged, blushing slightly under the intense regard and the term of endearment.  �Better, thanks.  There�s nothing left to throw up at least.�  He smiled his almost boyish smile, the one he kept for his two lovers.  �Shouldn�t you be at work?�

�We were worried.  Jackie was immersed in reports, she asked me to check on you.�

Michael laughed.  �I can look after myself, Rob, I�m a big boy.�

Robbie grinned.  �I�m well aware of that.�  Glancing at the television, he took his hands from his pockets.  �Want some company?�


Jackie turned the key in the lock and pushed the front door open.  She could hear the sound of quiet voices, but not the familiar ones she was expecting.

Hanging her jacket in the hall, she kicked off her shoes and went into the living room.

�I said check on him!� she reprimanded Robbie with a smile.

�I am!�

They were on the sofa, Robbie with his back to the cushions, head on one sofa arm, feet up on the other.  Michael was lying next to him, stretched out.  Their left hands were linked over Michael�s tummy.  Their right arms were stretched out, fingers lazily playing with one another�s in mid-air.

The television was on and she thought it might have been the first time she�d ever seen Michael actually watching it

�You all right, Michael?� she asked, leaning down to kiss him.  

He hummed happily, nodding when she pulled back.  �Much better,� he assured her.  �Rob�s been acting as my hot water bottle.�

She smiled.  �At least he�s useful for something!  Are you hungry at all?�

Michael shook his head, but Robbie�s face lit up.  �That�d be great, Jackie!  Thanks.�



�I�d never been in love before him,� Robbie told her quietly.  �I thought I had, but what I felt for Mike was all new.  It was overwhelming.  Before then�.�  He sighed softly.  �That afternoon when we sent him home from work because he was sick?  Just� lying there with him,� shaking his head, he released Jackie as she turned in his arms.

�The best part of it was being with you two, being loved by him, loving him.�

Robbie nodded.  �Jackie� at the start, after the three of us were together that first time, why did you let me�.�

Jackie moved to hug him loosely.  �Why did I want you involved?�

�You could have had Mike all to yourself.  You could have married him, Jackie, he loved you enough to make that commitment.�

�But he loved you too.�  Moving back, taking his hand, she led him to the sofa and they dropped into it.  Jackie folded herself into one corner, keeping a hold of Robbie�s hand.  �The night after he got out of hospital we spent together.  He told me how he felt about me, how he�d always felt it but Jim Taggart had all but threatened to have me transferred if he did anything about it, and how later it seemed we were just good friends.  I asked him if he wanted to make it� serious, or whether it was just a one-off.  He said he didn�t want to be without me any longer.  But he still seemed anxious, and when I called him on it, he told me how he felt about you.�

Robbie dropped his head back against the leather of the sofa.

�He said that you�d� let him experience something he hadn�t dared even consider before.  I think� now and again, he�d thought about Jim � but don�t ever tell him�� she broke off, looking away for a minute.  

Robbie squeezed her hand.  �It�s okay, I keep doing that too.�

She pulled in a deep breath before she looked back and nodded.  �I don�t mean that he felt that way about Jim.  He just� I don�t know.  Jim was very fond of him.  Michael always seemed� starved of love.  He�d been burnt a couple of times and I think he was starting to believe he was fated to be a lonely bachelor.�

�Instead, he got us both.  I know he was happy, Jackie.  I know he loved us.  I know he wouldn�t have ended all that on purpose.�

�Of course he wouldn�t!�  Jackie leaned forward.  �What�s wrong, Robbie?�

Apart from the obvious.  Apart from what would be wrong for the rest of their lives.

�Kennedy.  And Burke.�  Robbie picked through his mind carefully.  The reason why Michael wasn�t with them anymore was something he still couldn�t think about without his anger almost overwhelming him.  �That bastard Kennedy killed Mike.�



With shaking fingers, Stephen touched the cold face of the corpse.  He touched the mud-matted hair, picking out small pieces of debris from it, dropping them onto the slab.

Breathing deeply, he blinked back tears.

�Michael� no�.�

*

Jackie was inconsolable.  They sat on the chairs outside the pathologist lab.  She had her head in her hands, shoulders shaking, tears falling unstoppably.

Robbie had an arm around her shoulders, but he wasn�t in much of a better state himself.

When Stephen stepped out, Robbie looked up.

�I� couldn�t,� the doctor explained by way of an apology.  �Glen�s� doing the autopsy.�

Robbie nodded, wiping his eyes with his fingers.  �Just� tell me he didn�t kill himself.�

Tilting his head to one side, Stephen crouched down in front of his two companions.  �Robbie.  Why would Michael have committed suicide?  He was happy.  You and Jackie loved him, and he loved the both of you.�  He smiled sadly.  �And don�t look so surprised.  Your colleagues are just clueless.�



�Oh, Robbie�.�  She let her eyes wander his face.  �Kennedy murdered him, we know that.  The pathologist told us that.  Unless you and he had a row that last night, or something happened I don�t know about�.�

He shook his head.  �That last night, Jackie� I wish you�d been there.�

�Don�t� I wish I had been too.�  But she�d thought they�d have years together, thought they had forever.  How was she ever to know that she�d never get another chance to tell Michael she loved him?



Crouching down beside the sofa and his sleeping boss, Robbie stroked his hand over Michael�s shirt, where it was pulled tight over his chest by virtue of his arm pillowing his head.

Michael had already loosened his tie, opened the top couple of buttons on his shirt.  Leaning in, Robbie touched a light kiss to the base of his lover�s neck.

Michael started.  He opened his eyes and smiled wanly at the face close to his. �Shouldn�t you be doing odd jobs for your new boss?�

Robbie didn�t rise to it.  �Don�t you know that any pervert could walk in here?�

�You mean, one just didn�t?�

Robbie shrugged.  �Hey, if you don�t want my company�.�

Michael reached up, wrapped both arms around Robbie�s neck and pulled him down to his parted lips and welcoming mouth.

Smiling into the kiss, Robbie stroked his hands lazily over the other�s chest, fingers nimbly unfastening the buttons of the white shirt, spreading the material and touching fingertips to smooth skin.

�I was worried about you this afternoon,� Robbie murmured, nibbling on Michael�s bottom lip.  �If Kennedy�s gunning for you, I don�t want you out alone.�

Michael chuckled.  �Rob, I can look after myself.�

�I know you can.  But you�re very� I just don�t want you out there right now.�

Gazing at his lover, Michael�s expression softened.  �Very what?�

�Nothin�, it�s�.�

Combing his fingers through Robbie�s hair, he asked again.  �What?�

Robbie hesitated.  �You�re very precious, Mike.�

Without a word, but with his feelings plastered all over his face, Michael scooted back on the sofa, turning on to his side.  Robbie kicked off his shoes, shrugged off his jacket and moved up onto the cushions, into Michael�s waiting arms.

They kissed in silence, Michael making light work of Robbie�s shirt and tie, finally pressing skin against skin.



�We made love, him to me, me to him.  All night.  We went to bed in the early hours, slept for a while, then he woke me up and we started over.�

The stab of grief was incredible.  Robbie closed his eyes, but that didn�t stop the tears.  He felt Jackie�s hand in his hair, on his face, and he leaned into it.

�Will it ever go away?� he asked her eventually, painfully.  �Will it ever stop hurting?�

She didn�t answer.  She leaned over and kissed his hair.  She didn�t think the pain would ever ease.  Nothing would ever be able to fill the void left in her life.  Nor, she believed, in Robbie�s.

*

Brian Holmes, seconded to Complaints and Discipline, placed a mug of coffee on the table and sat down opposite Jackie in the interview room.

He smiled at her, noting the exhaustion in her face, the darkness of her eyes.

�Are you all right, Inspector?�

�Not really,� she told him truthfully, too tired to lie through some false courtesy.  �And please, it�s Jackie.  I never got used to �Inspector�,�

�All right, Jackie.�  He sighed softly, tried to smile.  �Tell me about what happened with Kennedy at the Armadillo that afternoon.�

It was surprisingly easy to tell the story.  Calmly, she ran through from them finding the gun in the morning, to Kennedy�s arrest in the afternoon.  Everything they�d done had been by the book � almost.  

Sitting there, staring Michael�s murderer in the face, watching the corners of his mouth turn upwards as he admitted the killing, had been one of the hardest things she�d ever had to do.  But compared to kneeling next to Michael�s dead body in the mud and grime of the banks of the Clyde, it had been a piece of cake.

�What was your relationship with Michael Jardine?�

The question took her by surprise.

�What does that have to do with it?�

�Why were you so desperate to clear his name?�

Jackie stared at him.  His tone was apologetic, and it was what was stopping her from walking out there and then.  But his questions were starting to hit too close to the mark.

�He was my friend for twelve years.�

Holms gazed at her steadily.  �He was more than that, surely?  Unless the Strathclyde CID rumour mill has seriously broken down.�

Jackie stood, placed her hands on the table, and leaned across.  His careful smile was unnerving, but she�d worked with him before.  She was sure he had a crush on her.  Robbie had been sure too.  They hadn�t dared mention it to Michael.

�Michael Jardine was a good cop, one of the best.  He died in the line of duty, murdered by a man who�d already killed twice in the same week.  Kennedy�s admitted killing one cop, he killed Michael too.  And I am sick of Michael�s name being dragged through the dirt by the very people he worked beside and cared for.  I have nothing else to say.�

She walked out.

*

Burke put the glass of white wine down onto the table.  "You're a cheap bribe," he told his companion as he dropped into the opposite chair.

John smiled a quick, knowing smile and reached for the glass, crossing his legs and leaning back, eyeing Burke suspiciously.

"So what's all this about?  Investigating your own officers on the side?  I thought that's what Internal Affairs are for?"  He sipped the dry wine.

Burke rolled his eyes.  "C&D in this country - Complaints and Discipline.  And like any good, old-fashioned copper, I don't like them."

"So you came to me?  I'm honoured."

"They always say it's the lowly constables that know everything there is to know."

John had been one such lowly constable, until his boyfriend had been stabbed outside a Glasgow nightclub, and his own force, in his humble opinion, hadn't had the manpower or the desire to find the culprit.  John had left the force and now ran his own bar in the city.

"Look, Matthew, I don't want to get anyone in trouble.  And I don't feel the need to sully a dead policeman's name."

Burke leaned forward, placing his pint carefully on the wooden table.  "I'm not out for blood.  I just want to know what the hell's going on."

John held his large stare for a few long seconds before looking away.  "All right.  I'll take you at your word, which is possibly a mistake.  There was a rumour, a very quiet one at that, and one that barely anyone believed."  Burke waited.  "Last summer, Reid and Jardine took a holiday together, to France."

Shaking his head, Burke glared at his would-be-informant.  "John, the world knows that.  Jardine and Reid were at it for years."

John scowled.  "That's the problem with the police, they never listen, never wait for the punchline and instead always try to jump to conclusions!"  He paused, taking another sip of wine.  "That same week in July, DI Robbie Ross was also away."

Burke sat back, face crumpled in thought.  Uneasily, he shrugged.  "So... he booked his holiday in the same week."

"Would you allow your obvious delegate to be away at the same time as you?"

"Maybe he didn't have any choice.  Maybe something happened - family emergency or something.  What the hell are you trying...."  John watched as realisation finally hit home.  Burke shook his head.  "No way.  No way on this earth did the three of them go together."

John shrugged one shoulder gracefully.  "I'm only telling you what I know to be a fact.  The rumour about the three of them was sparked by the fact that they were all away in the same week."

Burke was chuckling now.  "Did you ever meet Jardine?"

"Oh yes."

"Not exactly the threesome type, ay?"  John smiled gently, not speaking.  "The man was a puritan.  He was so tight you'd have needed a stick of dynamite to loosen his ass."

John sighed softly.  He thought for a moment, then bent forward.  "You're having trouble with his team?"  He didn't wait for an answer.  "Asking yourself how such a tightass can command so much respect?"

"Why do you think I'm talking to you?"  He downed almost half his pint in one swig.  "I'm pissed off with the whole thing.  I don't even know why I inherited the team in the first place!  They don't want me."

"But you want them?"  Burke shrugged, noncommittally.  "Yes, you do.  And what I'm trying to figure out is why.  If you're looking for them to transfer their loyalties to you, you're gonna be sorely disappointed."

He stared at this man, who'd once been on his own team, one of the only men to be able to speak to him so frankly and not worry about the consequences, even when he'd been a cowering constable.  "I know Reid won't."

"None of them will."

�They might�.�

John sighed.  �Matthew!  Just answer me one question.  What do they call you?�

��Sir�, what else are they supposed to�.�

�What did they call him?�

Burke deflated.  �They called him Michael, or Mike.�

�My point exactly.�

"Fraiser's coming around."

John's eyebrows rose.  "Stuart Fraiser?"  At the other man's nod, John shook his head once, side to side.  "Let me tell you, you will never know Stuart Fraiser any better than you did when you first laid eyes on him.  Gays in the force find a way of coping or they leave.  Stuart's found the best way there is.  He's open with everyone, he smiles a lot.  No one gets to know him.  Except..."

"...except Jardine."  Burke almost spat the name.  John simply smiled.  "What the hell was he?!  A saint?"

"Oh, I don't think he was that."

Burke bought another round, and they sat for a time in silence, the senior policeman contemplating what his companion had told him.

"It's utterly ridiculous," he stated finally, when his new pint was half-gone.  "Mike Jardine was not sleeping with Robbie Ross.  They're both as straight as they come.  Ross might get drunk at night and mistake a transvestite for a woman, but Jardine wouldn't even get drunk."  He shook his head.  "Nah.  Ridiculous."

A second later, he glanced up at John, who was calmly sipping his drink.  The expression on his face was one that Burke had seen a lot recently.  

"What?"

"Nothing.  You're entitled to your opinion and I'm sure you're right.  Jardine's dead, why does it matter what or who he was doing when he was alive?"

Burke drank the rest of his pint in frustration.  "You think they were shagging?"

John didn't answer either way.  "Tell me, Matthew, in all the time you knew Jardine, did you ever look into his eyes?"

Fed up, Burke slammed his pint glass down onto the table and got to his feet, grabbing his coat and shrugging it on.

John waited until the other man was almost at the door before adding the piece de la resistance.

"Wouldn't it be fascinating to find out what was in Jardine's will?"

*

Jackie stood just inside the master bedroom.  

Michael had brought the queen size bed just after their threesome had become permanent.  It let them all sleep comfortably.  On a double bed they had to squash up together.  Not that it wasn�t nice, but waking up sandwiched between two horny men in the morning wasn�t always as appealing as it sounded.

On the bigger bed they�d been able to stretch out yet still touch one another.

Moving to sit on the edge, she reached to pick up the photo Michael kept in an expensive glass frame next to the bed.  It was of the three of them, taken in France.  One of the vineyard owners had taken it as they�d linked arms in what had almost been a love knot and tried to sip from their own glasses.  None of them were looking at the camera, just at one another.  They were laughing.

It was a beautiful photograph that Michael had adored.

Jackie set it back on the bedside cabinet, and then picked it back up and dropped it onto the bed next to her.

Getting to her feet, she crossed to the wardrobe and opened the light-pine door.  Stroking her fingers over the shirts hung there, she picked out one.  It was light blue denim, one she�d loved on him.  She breathed in his scent still on the material.

Stripping off her own blouse, Jackie shrugged into the butter-soft denim shirt, fastening it.  She'd loved to wear the guys' shirts.  After a shared shower or bath, or even the odd water fight in the summer months, she'd just surrounded herself with the scent and feel of one of them, whose ever wardrobe was available at the time.  The clothes usually drowned her, but the men never seemed to mind.

The only person who knew about both Michael and Robbie - her best friend Daphne who lived in Yorkshire - often asked her if she was remotely jealous when she knew the men were together without her.  She'd always said no, that it wasn't like that, Michael deserved to be loved twice over.  

Only once, in the time they were together, had she ever felt anything remotely like jealousy.

She'd arrived here one night, after working late, to find them in bed together � nothing new there � but the way they were lying�.  



She stood in the doorway, the only light coming from the candles burning low on the shelves along the far wall of the bedroom.  

She smiled to herself, her own reaction surprising her.  They were twisted in the quilt, and in one another.  Michael was lying in the middle of the bed on his front, one leg bent at the knee.  Robbie was lying over him in almost the exact position.  His head on Michael�s back, his left arm stretched along Michael�s arm, their fingers linked on the mattress.

They looked beautiful together.  The passion they shared strikingly evident in the way they lay together.

For a single moment she was jealous.  Robbie brought out something in Michael that no one else ever had.  What they shared was something Michael had never shared with anyone else, nor probably ever would.



The shrill tone of her mobile interrupted her train of thought.  Pulling it from her jeans pocket, she pressed the Answer button.

�Jackie Reid.�

�Jackie, it�s Stuart.�  Just the sound of his voice now, that hesitation, sent a chill through her.  �Er� I thought you should know.  Rob was being interviewed by that guy, Brian Holms from C&D.  Holms must have said something because Rob punched him and walked out.�

Jackie groaned.  �You are joking?�

�No.�  He sounded apologetic.  �Burke�s going nuts.�

She almost laughed.  �I can imagine!  Any idea where he went?�

�No.  I thought he might have gone over to Mike�s place.�

�I�ll call him.  Thanks, Stuart.�

�No problems.  I�ll try to battle things this end.�

*

He hadn�t been here since Michael�s death.  

Jackie had, when she�d been called that they�d found his car, the same day they�d found his body.  

He hadn�t wanted to come.  But for some reason this was where he�d driven to after leaving the station.

He wasn�t sure he still had a career.  Holms would probably be after his badge.  If not him then Burke.  Not that he really cared.

Leaning on the railing, he looked out over the grimy Clyde.  Michael would have had a few choice words for him after what he�d done this afternoon.  The man could shout when he wanted to.  Even with their relationship, Michael had still been his boss and at the office that was the role he usually played.

The only difference was the make-up sex in the evenings.

The dull, familiar ache stepped up a notch and he sighed softly.  He shouldn�t have come.

Slowly, he walked along the pavement, running his hand along the cold metal of the rail.  Michael had gone in here, had been hit and pushed over into the river.  Robbie stopped at the spot he felt was right.  He tried to imagine Michael standing there, not knowing what was happening until it was too late.

He�d been unconscious when he�d gone into the water.  Robbie had held to that like a lifeline.  It would have been so fast, Michael would never have known he was dying.  He�d have blacked out and that would have been it.

Over and over he�d played it in his head.

So many �what ifs?� were lurking in the back of his mind.  He tried not to think about them, because the thought that Michael might still be with them if he�d done even a single thing differently was the kind of thought that had the power to destroy him.



He could feel his own heart breaking as he watched Jackie�s do the same.

Moving between Stuart and Jackie, he stayed standing as she bent to uncover Michael�s face.  Stuart was in tears next to him, and somehow he held himself together for them both.



Later, in the morgue, he�d said goodbye.  But he knew it was too late.  He�d pressed a kiss to Michael�s cold forehead, stroked his clean hair for one last time.

Suddenly he felt more lonely than he had ever done in his entire life.  Taking his phone from his jacket pocket, he found Jackie�s number and called her.

Jackie pulled the car over, relieved when she saw Robbie�s name appear on her mobile.

�Hey,� she answered gently, �hear you had a busy afternoon.�

�He was an arsehole, Jackie.�

She wasn�t going to argue with that.  �Where are you?�

�On the bridge.�

She didn�t have to ask.  �Robbie�.  Why?�

�I dunno.  I just arrived here.  But now� I don�t want to be here.  Can I meet you?�

�Anywhere.  I�ve been at Michael�s.�

He thought about it.  �I�ll see you back there.�  He paused.  �I love you, Jackie.�

�I love you too, Rob.�  Nothing new in that admission.  She loved them both.  Always would.  �Drive carefully.�

*

Rubbing his blurring eyes, Burke reached across his paper-strewn desk to pick up the phone.

"DCI Burke," he barked into the receiver.

"Matt?"  The voice on the other end was tinny, sounding a million miles away.  "Grecia."

Burke sat back in his chair, smiling.  "Grecia!  Sweetheart!  How are ya?"

"Don't think you can get favours from me that easily, Matt."

"I don't, darlin'!  Dinner, whenever you're free."

There was a hum from the other end of the line, one that Burke took to be acquiescence.  "I had lunch in the Rat this afternoon and had a very interesting conversation with a very nice young man."

"Really?"

"Um.  About strange legacies he'd encountered in his role as a solicitor's clerk at McCloud & Sons.  A Mr Jardine, for example, who left all his savings to his brother, Iain who lives abroad."

Burke was singularly unimpressed,  "Brother?  Didn't know he had one.  But I can't see the scandal there, Grecia."

"I'm not looking for scandal, Matt.  But, if you'd let me finish... Iain was left money in a bank account or two.  The rest of it - house with no outstanding mortgage and valued at around one hundred and eighty thousand, plus contents, and car, an Audi with no outstanding finance, were left jointly to two people."

"Go on."

"I don't know if this means anything, but the names were a Miss Jacqueline Reid and a Mr Robert Michael John Ross."

Burke frowned.  "Why would he do that?"

"People do stuff like that.  Coppers often leave their belongings to subordinates.  They're the type of people who don't usually have time for a family, not one that stays around very long anyway.  Under 'relationship' he's just written, 'close friends'."

"Thanks Grecia, I owe you one."

"Dinner, Matt.  And no excuses."

Burke put the phone down and sat back, thinking.  Could there really be some truth to what John had told him?  He tried to think about Jardine and Ross together, and found the image didn't come easily.  Not that he considered himself to be at all homophobic.  It was just the fact that both men came over as so completely straight that the idea of them being intimate seemed ridiculous.

He thought back, tried to remember the couple of days he'd spent working with Jardine.  He and his team had been as thick as thieves.  Both Jackie and Robbie had been considering requesting transfers off the case, he knew, simply because of the way he'd been perceived to have stolen Jardine's case, his role, his job even.

Stuart was easier to win over, just as loyal but not as passionate about it.  

And that was the difference.  The passion.  Was that why Ross had finally cracked this afternoon and thumped Holms?  Not that he had any sympathy for the C&D officer.  He didn't like Holms, and he�d been quietly cheering for the DI.  If it came to a head between them Burke had already decided that he'd side with his own officer.

He groaned, closing his eyes.  Was he doing just what Jardine had done?  Caring too much about them, maybe about what they thought of him?

And what if it was true?  What if Jardine's relationship with Ross was along the same lines as his relationship with Reid?  Whatever rules & regulations might have been broken, they didn't matter now.  What mattered was how he death with Jackie and Robbie in the aftermath of Jardine's death.

The only idea he could come up with was to stay away from them.  For now.  And to do what he was regretting not doing before.  To get to know DCI Michael Jardine a little bit better.

*

They arrived at the house at about the same time.  Getting out of the car, Robbie walked up to Jackie and enfolded her in his arms, holding on tight without a word.

She held him in return, her head on his shoulder, hands stroking his back.  

After a long time, they released one another, walking to the door of the house with an arm around each other.

In the hall, the hug reconvened.

Time passed before either of them spoke.

"What did he say to you?" Jackie asked gently.

Pulling back, leaning against the dark beige wall, Robbie met her concerned gaze.  "He suggested that we'd fitted Kennedy up for Mike's death, because if it turned out Mike killed himself, it might reflect badly on us."

Jackie frowned, anger sparking in her eyes.  "That bastard."  She ground out the word.  "Who the hell does he think he is?!"

Robbie pursed his lips.  "He's just doing his job, Jackie."

She regarded him curiously.  "Is that why you hit him?"

Shaking his head, he sighed.  "I just... lost it.  How can we lay Mike to rest when no one else will?"  There was no answer to that.  They stood in silence, hands held, until Robbie asked her suddenly, "Is that Mike's shirt?"

*

The sun was setting behind the city as Burke strolled up to the flower-strewn grave.  

Stuart's carnations were arranged in a vase in front of the headstone.  Several bouquets and wreathes, obviously fresh, had been laid along the low mound of earth, none with any cards.  But what caught Burke's eyes was a large wreath of red and white roses had been placed at the head of the grave.  There was a card tucked between the leaves.

It simply read, 'love you'.

He remembered a similar one being there on the day of the funeral.  From Jackie, he'd thought at the time.  He remembered her words.  'We loved you.  I loved you."

At the time he'd been certain she'd been speaking of the team's affection for their boss.  Now, he wondered if it had had two meanings.  Was she speaking on another level, about herself and Robbie?

"Now I'm obsessing," he muttered to himself under his breath.

He pondered his earlier decision to stay away from them, to leave them alone for a time, and wondered if it was the best decision after all.

*

The cafetiere that stood on the dresser was half empty.  Jackie was sitting cross-legged in the centre of the bed surrounded by Michael's clothes which they'd dragged out of the wardrobe.

Robbie was sitting on the floor, against the wall, legs out in front of him.  The whole room smelt of Michael; of his washing powder and aftershave.  For the time being at least, it was comforting.

"Jackie?"  

She looked up, a smile crossing her face.  "Oh no...."

Robbie had a cardboard box resting over his knees, and was holding up a red, furry Santa's hat.  "Remember this, little girl?" he teased her.



Michael rang the doorbell and waited.  When there was no answer, he rang again.  

Finally, the door opened.  "Sorry, Rob, I left my key...."  The rest of the sentence never made it out.  Robbie was standing in his hall wearing nothing but a pair of red leather trousers that fit him like a glove.  Michael swallowed, unable to tear his eyes away from the sight before him.  "Christ, Rob," he muttered finally.

"If you let any more cold air in, you'll spoil the effect."

Taking the not-too subtle hint, Michael stepped inside and closed the door behind him, reaching for his lover.  But Robbie backed out of harm's way.  "Oh, no.  No way."

Michael followed him through to the bedroom like a devoted puppy.  "Be fair, Rob!  How's a man supposed to resist?"

"It took me half an hour to get these on, and they're staying on until after the party."

There was a promise in there somewhere.  "And then?"

"Then I'll be begging you to get them off me!"

Michael grinned.  "Now that's something I'm gonna be thinking about all night."  Wiggling his eyebrows, he unfastened his long winter coat and shrugged it off.

It was Robbie's turn to stare.  Michael was covered head to foot in red and white fur.  It was the most perfect Santa costume, right down to the matching red and white fur hat and beard that he produced from his coat pockets.

Robbie�s feet shifted forward almost of their own accord, and he didn't stop until he was pressed up against Michael, the thick fur of the suit rubbing against his bare skin.

"Christ," Robbie muttered, arms going around his lover's neck, fingers raking through the soft blond hair.  

Michael closed the gap and kissed him, slow and deep, his own hands roaming the naked back before dropping to explore the skin-tight material of Robbie's trousers.

Breaking the kiss, Michael leaned in to trail a path over Robbie's jaw and throat, nipping gently.  He felt Robbie's teeth on his earlobe and smiled, lifting his head.  Cradling the back of his lover's neck in his hand, Michael smiled.

"Have I told you lately just how much I love you?" he murmured, voice low.

Robbie felt something inside him overloading.  "Mike... I love you too, so damn much...."  He touched his lips to the other man's.  Michael melted into the contact.

The sound of a key in the front door scraped the edges of their attention.  With an enormous amount of will power, Robbie pulled back from his lover.

"Go greet Jackie, I want her to see the end result first."

Michael nodded, stole another quick kiss, and closed the bedroom door on the way out.

In the hall, Jackie was just closing the door.  She turned, and a grin lit up her face.

"Look at you!"  She launched herself into his arms, hands everywhere, enjoying the hard, male body underneath the soft fur.

When he managed to untangle them, he all but carried her into the lounge and dumped them both on the sofa.

"Do you have the beard too?" she asked, teasing his chin with her fingertips, pressing up against him, still wearing her coat.

"Aye, and the hat.  They're in the bedroom."

She grinned at him, eyebrows rising.  "Really?  What are they doing in there?"

He pushed her away slightly, urging, "Let's see yours!"

Standing, she unbuttoned her coat and dropped it from her shoulders.  Michael whistled appreciatively.

She wore a very low cut, tight, green V-neck blouse over a pair of tight green velvet trousers.  The sleeves of the blouse came to points over the backs of her hands.  Her shoes, he noticed, were also green, high-heeled and pointed, held onto her green-stocking'ed feet by green ribbons, criss-crossed up over her shins.  From her coat pocket, she pulled out a hat that rattled as she fitted it to her head.

"Santa's little elf!" Michael cried, delighted.  Leaning forward he grabbed her around the hips and pulled her down into his lap.  "You look too naughty to be an elf!"

He dropped a kiss to her neck, then one a little lower, and continued down.

Jackie stroked his hair as he pushed her blouse up and lifted one breast from her Wonderbra, tonguing the nipple before sucking on her gently.

She pressed closer to him, reaching one hand between them to stroke him through the suit.  He hardened against her fingers, straining against the loose fabric.  The sensation was intensely erotic.

"I can't leave you two alone!"  The humour in Robbie's voice simply added to their joy.

They turned and stared.  Over the tight trousers he wore a red, skin tight velvet shirt.  He wore pointed, red leather boots on his feet, and wore red horns in his hair.  Next to the lounge door, he�d leaned a long plastic trident against the wall.

Michael let loose a wolf-whistle while Jackie reached out to run the fingertips of her free hand over the bulge at the front of the tight trousers.

Moaning slightly, Robbie dropped into the leather sofa and looked Jackie up and down, from her hand shamelessly tucked between Michael�s legs, to her parted lips.  Bending forwards, he kissed her.

Michael sat back, loving the sight of his two lovers together.  He straightened Jackie�s blouse before moving one hand from her to Robbie, into his hair.

Robbie turned from Jackie to smile at Michael.  �Are you playing with my horns?�  Leaning down, he covered Michael�s mouth slowly with his own, taking his time to taste.

Jackie had to prise them apart.  �Don�t you two start, we�ll never get there!� she admonished.  Both men groaned when she pulled them apart.  �Look, later we can take our time undressing.�  She slipped back off from Michael�s lap.  �Right now, we have the Strathclyde CID Christmas party to attend.�

*

�Now that was kinky,� Jackie giggled between breaths.  She lay naked in Santa�s arms, snuggled against the fur of the suit, while the devil knelt in front of her, horns crooked on his head.

Turning her head, she arched up for a kiss, which Michael willingly bestowed.  Between them, they�d spent an hour driving her crazy, Santa Claus and Satan.

She glanced up as Michael broke the kiss, and smiled when she saw the look pass between her two lovers.

Reaching her hand out, waiting until Robbie took it, Jackie moved out from Michael�s lap across the bed, putting Robbie�s hand in Michael�s.

Michael shifted on to his knees and leaned towards the other man as Robbie came forward to claim him.  Open-mouthed they fell together, tongues touching, brushing one over the other.  Robbie combed his fingers into Michael�s blond hair, sweeping the hat off the other man�s head, holding him in place.

Michael�s hands roamed under Robbie�s open shirt, caressing smooth, bare skin.

Jackie made herself comfortable on the other side of the bed.  She found them undeniably sexy when they were together.

Robbie found the top of the Velcro fastening on the front of the Santa Suit jacket and ran the fingers of his free hand down the length of it, parting the sides of the soft material.

All night the three of them had been eyeing one another up, sharing private jokes, drinks and smiles.

Michael worked the tight leather down over Robbie�s hips, drawing the palm of his hand over one hard thigh to take his lover�s straining erection into the cradle of his fingers.

Robbie growled, pushing into the gentle hand that held him.  Smiling into the kiss, Michael nipped Robbie�s bottom lip between his teeth.

�Now what are we going to do with this?� he murmured, lips ghosting Robbie�s.  

The other didn�t have enough time to answer.  Michael pulled out of his loose hold and ducked down to take his cock into a hot mouth.

Jackie laughed at Robbie�s sudden gasp as he put his arms out behind him and leaned back.  He tried to balance on one hand, loving to just touch Michael�s hair when he did this.  It hadn�t been an act to come naturally to either of them, but with practise, they�d both become experts.

Thrusting gently into Michael�s mouth, Robbie stroked his hand over his hair and down his back, pushing the fur jacket off his shoulders to touch the bare skin there.

Despite being drained by the two men, Jackie could feel her arousal building gradually as she watched them.

The alcohol in Robbie�s system from the party had long since dissipated, replaced by desire, and after playing with Jackie for so long, it didn�t take long before he was pulsing into Michael�s mouth, down the powerful throat.

Robbie dropped back onto the mattress, breath coming in long gasps.  �Jeez, Mike�.�  Michael leaned over him, and Robbie reached up, hooking his hand around the back of his lover�s neck to pull him down for a kiss.

With a gentle smile, Michael eased the leather all the way off Robbie�s legs, leaving only his open shirt.  Jackie sat up and helped Michael off with the Santa suit before reaching for the lube they kept in the bedside drawer.

Touching Michael, using long strokes of her hand to coat his thick cock, she watched them both.  Their gazes were locked into one another, the communication silent and private.

Too desperate to take his time, Michael pressed his fingers into Robbie�s relaxed body as he leaned down for another deep kiss.

�Do it, Mike,� Robbie whispered into the other�s mouth.

Cupping Robbie�s ass, Michael brought his lover�s leg up, kissing the sensitive skin at the back of his knee.  Shifting, he positioned himself and moved forward slowly, burying himself in the other�s body, pushing until he was deep inside.

Robbie gripped Michael�s arms, �I can feel you holding back, Mike.  Stop it.�

�Rob�.�

�It�s okay.  You know it is.  Come on.�

It was the expression on his face that Robbie treasured.  The expression of submission, of giving over control.  It didn�t matter who was on top, Robbie could always ask for and take control.

Jackie watched every thrust of Michael�s body, every counter-thrust of Robbie�s.  She watched them as each move took them closer and closer, lost in a place where only they existed.

�Mike�.�  Rob murmured softly, turning his lover�s name into a verbal caress.

�Robbie� oh, God�.�  Michael came, hard, head thrown back, howl of wanton release escaping him.

*

Jackie woke a couple of hours later.  She was still lying on the edge of the bed, her feet on the pillow, quilt tangled around her legs.

Michael and Robbie were asleep in front of her, also the wrong way round on the mattress.  Michael was facing her, curled slightly on his side.  Robbie was lying behind him, spooned up close to him, one arm reached over him, hand rested gently around the base of Michael�s throat; that odd position of theirs that she could only hope she understood.

They looked serene and beautiful.

Smiling happily to herself, she pulled the quilt up from around her legs and snagged a pillow with her feet.

Getting comfortable, she watched them for a long time before falling back to sleep herself.



Dropping his head back against the wall, Robbie closed his eyes.  �I miss him, Jackie.�

*

Burke strolled up to Robbie�s desk and dropped a manilla file on top of all the other paperwork there.

Robbie looked up.  �You look knackered, Sir,� he commented before he thought.

Burke smiled wryly.  �A girl was killed last night in the city centre, stabbed.  I was the unlucky bugger they decided to call out.�  He indicated the file.  �These are all the details we have so far.  I�d like you to lead the investigation.�

Robbie�s head snapped back up.  Burke imagined he could feel Jackie�s and Stuart�s eyes on his back, but ignored them both.

�Me?�

�Aye.  If you don�t think you�re up to it, tell me now.�

�No.�  Robbie touched the file.  �That�s fine.  Thanks.�

Burke shrugged.  �You�ve got your team.  As long as Jackie and Stuart don�t mind taking orders from you.�  If it was a dig at them, it was disguised well enough for neither of them to take offence.  Stuart had never had a problem anyway.

�What about C&D, Sir?� Robbie asked, amazed he was being handed his own case after punching Holms the day before.

�Let me deal with C&D.  You�re gonna have to trust me with Michael Jardine�s reputation.  I give you my word that I�ll protect it.�

Robbie nodded and smiled his cautious thanks.

Job done, Burke left them to it.

He hoped he was doing the right thing.