| It had to happen sometime, but when it did it
surprised them both. Leaving Bonnie asleep in the centre of the bed, somehow knowing that it would be the last time he did so, Michael dressed and padded along the corridor from the back to the front of the bungalow, slipping on his shoes before he unlocked the front door and let himself out. Next to the pavement, the sleek black form of his partner sat silently, appearing to be powered down, although Michael knew different. The part of him that was Kitt, the part of him that was separate from the car, was far from sleeping. "Kitt?" The scanner track remained black, there were no words spoken into the chilly air, but in his mind he felt an apology. "It's okay." Stepping around the dark car, Michael's touch opened the car door that had no handle and he dropped into the driver's seat. Seeing there wasn't a single glow from the usually illuminated dash, he dropped his head back, closed his eyes and sought out his partner across the neuro link that connected them. //Kitt// //I'm sorry// //don't be// //why didn't you block me?" That was the million dollar question. That was what Michael had been asking himself for the last couple of hours, since he'd made love to Bonnie with Kitt not blocked, not even in the back of his mind, but forefront and centre stage. For the first time; Kitt's first time. Michael considered his answer. Ever since the link had activated in violence, horror and pain, Kitt had projected a need to be close. Over the days, weeks, months, it had eased, decreased to a bearable background level, but Michael was still aware of it because he remembered those first few days when their shields and blocks had been non-existent and he'd felt everything Kitt had felt, felt for the first time what his partner had always felt. For the first time he'd known Kitt, completely and without barriers. However alien most of what he'd beheld during that time had been to him, it was still Kitt, still his partner, still the only soul in the entire world he trusted unreservedly and without question. And he'd fallen in love with what he'd experienced. Opening his eyes and looking at the dash, he said out loud, "I didn't want to." There was a softer-than-usual quality to Kitt's electronically generated voice when he asked, "Why not?" That he hadn't blocked Kitt was disturbing enough, but his reasons were so complex, so intimate, he wasn't sure he was ready to admit them to himself, never mind to Kitt, and never, never to anyone else. But as well as the deeper feelings, there were simpler things, obvious things. "You know me, Kitt, better than anyone ever has. You're� obviously closer to me than anyone could ever be. And I do love you. Blocking you� during such a� an emotionally intense thing like that.... I didn't want to. And I'm sorry." "I was the one listening." "I was the one broadcasting." Michael hooked his fingers through the steering wheel, stroking his index finger firmly along the seam of the leather. "What did it feel like?" For a few moments there wasn't anything by way of a response. Then he felt it, his own climax - the building anticipation and the fleeting pleasure - sent back to him and immediately he knew the difference between it and what he'd originally felt when he'd been with Bonnie. Kitt's version was underlaid with a love so deep, virtually fathomless, that it gave his own orgasm a quality to it he just didn't recognise. "Jesus, Kitt�." He didn't know what else to say, what to think, or what to feel. //I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that// //no it's okay it's really okay// Reaching for Kitt he gave a brief hug, noting how nervous Kitt seemed about being touched. //it's not okay is it// //I'm sorry// //quit apologising tell me what you're feeling// He was met with silence in the car and dead air in his head. //come on Kitt this is me// //that's the problem// //you've lost me// More hesitation, but finally Kitt told him, //I enjoyed it Michael// It didn't register immediately - //enjoyed it// - but the penny dropped. //Kitt it's okay partner it's okay to have enjoyed it in fact I'm kinda happy you did// //so private// //believe me there's very little private between us anymore// Sitting forward he wrapped his arm over the steering wheel, pushing his sleeve up to his elbow and settling the warm skin of his arm over the preceptor set in Kitt's steering column. "I didn't block you because I think I wanted you to share it. And� please don't ask me what that means. I don't think I know myself." //if it helps I'm// the thought trailed off. //Kitt// //I'm honoured// Michael smiled. //Honoured// //you shared you with me// He took a deep breath. There were a thousand ideas in his head right at that moment, ideas he didn't want Kitt knowing about yet, if ever. Carefully hiding them he reached once again for Kitt and this time Kitt moved closer, into the hug, locking down the car before wrapping himself around Michael's essence. He went willingly, deeper into the link between them, happy to lose himself for a while, happy not to have to analyse any further what he'd done tonight, hoping Kitt didn't pick up on emotions he had an inkling were lurking not too far beneath the surface. |