| "Haven't seen my partner
around, have
you?" Audrey's confidence, her assumed welcome as she climbed aboard, made Duke think of Nathan's reticence the night before. She was clinging to a tall coffee from the place near the entrance to the harbour and he supposed it was an addiction, a hangover from her past life as a Fed. He shook his head, padding barefoot across the deck to meet her half way, keeping her a safe distance from the cabin. "I haven't seen him since Friday." She looked uncomfortable just for a moment and he wondered if seeing him as a frail old man had somehow given her an insight into the future he'd accused Nathan of running from last night. "How are you feeling?" she asked, and he couldn't it, he felt damn good, linking his fingers and stretching his arms up towards the clear blue sky, his T-shirt lifting, giving her a free show. Lowering his arms, he bounced on the balls of his feet and grinned at her. "I feel great, thank you for asking." And possibly he could have been a little less obvious about it because she smirked and said, "I hope this one doesn't have such dire consequences," before smiling, turning and walking away. She stopped on the jetty. "If you see Nathan, could you tell him there's been a robbery up at Grange Farm that needs his attention?" "Sure," he called back, "but you'll probably see him before I do." He watched her until she vanished from sight, then loped back to the galley, filled the kettle and set it on the stove. Through the open cabin door he could see Nathan on the bed lying on his back, arms flung out, fast asleep, dead to the world and wondered if he always slept this well or whether he could take the credit. As much as he wanted to keep him there and not to let the real world, such as it was, get its claws into him, Duke knew he had to wake him. Sooner or later his no-show, out of character as it was, would spark a search party, and he might end up having to placate Nathan's over-protective father who arguably hated him more than Nathan did. He hoped last night had at least mended some hard feelings, if not all. He started to make coffee, realised he didn't have any fresh milk and ended up making it black. He’d been practically living at the Gull; the place would drain his time until he got it on an even keel. Taking both mugs through to the cabin, he sat on the edge of the bed, put them on the bedside cabinet and gently shook Nathan with a hand on what he hoped was his knee, hard under the sheets. Nathan looked at him blearily, as if trying to work out what the hell Duke was doing in his bedroom. The moment he remembered was obvious, but all he said was, "hey", with a shy little smile on his lips. Delighted, laughing, Duke pounced, crawling back under the sheets while the coffee got cold. ~ "Where the hell have you been?" was the exact greeting he'd been anticipating all the way to Grange Farm, and still the only reply he'd come up with was the truth, "I overslept. Sorry." By the look on Audrey's face, she wasn't buying it, and he couldn't blame her. "I hammered on your door." "I'm a heavy sleeper. So what have I missed?" Just a robbery, some bored kids looking for a way to fill the time. They'd made off with two chickens and a piglet but Nathan suspected they hadn't got far. Chickens weren't the most co-operative of birds and as he predicted, they were back in the coop by lunchtime after being discovered enjoying the free range life in a field two miles from the farm. The piglet remained elusive, and there was the worry that it was more likely to turn up at a hog roast than it was to find its way home, so he pulled local rank for once and sent Audrey off to interview locals for the remainder of the afternoon while he sat at his desk and contemplated the marked change in his relationship with Duke, back to some approximation of what it had been when they were teenagers, and Duke had taken him to the prom. ~ Nathan stood on the jetty, hands at his side, shaking out his fingers. He was shifting from foot to foot, nervous for the first time in a long time about boarding Duke’s boat. “Going to stand there all night?” Duke looked amused as he crossed the deck and jumped down to the boards with unusual grace, blue and white striped shirt hanging loose from his shoulders over crumpled shorts. "This feels weird." Nathan pushed his hands deep into his pockets, determined to keep them to himself as much as he wanted to reach out and feel the lean body through the thin material. Duke smiled. "Hello to you too.” He tilted his head, as if studying Nathan. “I was on my way to the Gull. Come with me." He didn’t set off immediately, as if expecting an argument because in the past Nathan had picked a fight with him over everything. But not this time. He wasn’t about to admit that he just wanted to be with Duke, that it didn’t matter where they were. He shrugged, feigning nonchalance, and they set off up the coastal path, shoulder to shoulder. Nathan couldn’t remember ever feeling so antsy before. He needed to do something, to say something. He almost wished they’d stayed on the boat. “I’m sorry.” Duke glanced at him, brows raised, and Nathan wasn’t sure then why he’d said it. It was too little too late and they both knew it. Duke didn’t accept the apology, that Nathan felt stupidly like apologising for, but he didn’t throw it back in Nathan’s face either. Instead, he asked, “What made you think I’d reject you?” It was the most redundant question Nathan had ever heard. “I wonder?! Even at school you had more skirt than I did!” Duke’s eyes widened and he seemed to be staring. “What? It’s true!” “Nate, you never, ever talk about the past, never mind joke about it.” There was no denying that. He shrugged, and Duke stepped closer, nudged him with his elbow. When Nathan looked at him, he looked... happy. In unison, they stepped over a missing plank in the boardwalk. “It wasn’t all you, all right, I’ll admit it. It was a shock at the time. And I know I was an asshole. But I was seventeen! One day you’re this stunning beauty and the next....” He held his hands out pointedly in the direction of Nathan’s body, and Nathan immediately took offence. “Hey!” “Well, obviously now I feel differently about it.” “That’s a relief to hear.” Because while they’d been fighting Duke had occupied a large proportion of his thoughts. Now that the hatchet had been pushed to one side, if not actually buried, Duke had been all he’d thought about since leaving the boat that morning. “You know you didn’t give me time. I needed time.” “How exactly did you think I was feeling, Duke?” Nathan looked away from him, out across the ocean. “And how was I to know you’d ever change your mind, never mind your carnal preferences?” Duke smiled, threw his arms wide as they walked. “I’m a broadminded guy. You might have noticed if you hadn’t put so much energy into hating me. I’m charming to everyone regardless of sex.” It took a moment for that to sink in. Then he stopped in walking, watched Duke’s back. “You’ve slept with other guys?” Duke stopped and turned. “Okay, so I’ve kept that aspect of my private life more private than the rest. But yes, I’ve slept with a couple of guys. Sorry, Nate, you weren’t my first.” Then he seemed to realise too how hurtful that was and opened his mouth to say something else. Nathan didn’t want to hear it. He couldn’t believe it. Absolutely not wanting Duke to see the tears he could feel in his eyes, he turned and started back the way they’d come, remembering painfully that he’d spent half his life wanting to kill the man. “Nate!” Suddenly this was the last place he wanted to be. But his body seemed to have other ideas. He couldn’t seem to put one foot in front of the other. He stood, motionless, until he felt Duke’s wiry arms come around his waist, and Duke’s chin appear on his shoulder. He could feel gelled hair against his ear, rough lips against his neck. So easy to feel the simple things. He’d felt nothing when they’d been beating the shit out of each other on an irregular basis. Now he felt everything. “I can count the number of men I’ve slept with on one hand,” Duke started quietly, “and that includes you. I thought about telling you, a hundred times over the years, but it doesn’t come up easily in conversation and I honestly wasn’t sure you’d still be interested in hearing it. I ran the words around in my head so many times, working out how it would sound. I decided it would sound as if I’d sold my soul just to get close again to you when I hadn’t. If I just popped round one day and said, ‘hey, guess what? I had sex with a guy last night and it wasn’t too bad, so how about it?’ wouldn’t you have just punched my lights out and never spoken to me again?” Nathan took a deep breath, rested an uncertain hand on Duke’s and nodded once. He was right, but it didn’t stop it from hurting. “There was a time... you were the only thing I wanted from this town.” “I know.” For once, there was no pride in his voice. “I’m sorry too.” Finally letting the tension melt from his body, Nathan leaned back against Duke’s solidity. “We’ve been idiots.” “We’re okay now though, yeah?” He nodded. “But if we’re doing this I need you to at least be honest with me. And I need you not to sleep with my partner. Okay?” “Sure.” He could feel Duke’s breath, just behind his ear. “Be honest. Keep my hands off Audrey. Check.” He loosened his arms, sliding his hands into Nathan’s as he turned. Nathan squeezed his bony fingers. “As much as I hated you... I could love you just as much.” He watched Duke swallow, watched the movement of his throat, transfixed for a moment. “Jeez, Nate....” Duke let go of his hands, framed his face with his fingers and nodded once before kissing him. |