Will
goes back to
work. For the first week he's teaching and Hannibal only
sees him twice, both occasions
are at his home for dinner. On both occasions Will stays
over. He wonders if
Alana knows. Hannibal
goes to see
Jack before Will returns to his classroom. �I
won�t let you
destroy him,� he tells him, and Jack looks at him
steadily with a hint of fear
in his eyes. It feels good to finally see it there. �What
is he to you?�
Jack goes on the defensive. �Patient. Friend. More?� �What
he is to me is
none of your business.� �I
care for Will.� �You
put him behind
bars.� �The
evidence....� �He�s
the sweetest
man I know.� �You
provided most
of the evidence!� �I
did no such
thing. I simply gave you my point of view. It was yours
to dismiss, to
disprove. If
I think for one second that
you�re drawing him back down the same path that almost
killed him, I will
report you for misconduct.� He
waits a week
before he kills Chiltern. During Will�s time at the
institution, the good
doctor treated him to petty torments for no better
reason than his own
amusement. Small but resentful punishments for things
Will wasn't guilty of,
such as Hannibal's visits, things he wasn�t able to
prevent but which he
definitely didn�t like. Jealousy is an ugly trait. Will
was subject to small
indignities at Chiltern's hands and Hannibal made
certain he knew for who and
what he was dying, made sure he suffered similar
humiliations before he
took his last breath. He
made sure too
that Will had a firm alibi in the form of Jack Crawford
for the time of the
killing but couldn�t resist leaving the body
theatrically placed in the
doctor's office, splayed over his own desk for his
secretary to find the
following morning, split open lengthways with his liver
removed and his
castrated penis between his lips, marinating in a sauce
of his own bodily
fluids. He does it because he wants to revenge those
things Will could not, the
things he dealt with during his incarceration, but also
he does it because he
wants to see what Jack will do, and what Will will do. Crawford's
tenacity
is breathtaking. He pulls Will out of a lecture to take
him to the crime scene.
He does at least have the manners to reassure him that
he knows this has
nothing to do with him, and says he's sorry for making
Will look. This Hannibal
finds out very late that same night when Will drops by
at his home for a night
cap and to make love. He seems fine, calm and very much
in control, unsettled
by the scene in Chiltern�s office but not upset about
it. Hannibal wants to ask
him how it made him feel, seeing the man who set those
little tortures to make
his stay at the institute even more unpleasant than it
needed to be. But he
doesn�t, decides to wait until they have a more formal
session in his office
because despite the change in their relationship Will
remains his unofficial
patient. Hannibal is nothing if not possessive about
certain things. However
it made him
feel, it hasn�t put in dent in his ardour. That night,
Will is as passionate
always and they don't get to sleep until the early hours
of the morning.
Hannibal makes coffee and pastries and Will sits down at
the bar in the kitchen
to eat before he kisses Hannibal goodbye. 'Come
for dinner
tonight,' Hannibal suggests and from the open doorway of
his kitchen, Will nods
and smiles. 'Ill
bring the
wine,' he offers, and Hannibal thanks him. 'What would
you say goes best with
liver?' He
doesn't move.
It's difficult enough to keep breathing, he can't seem
to find his voice and he
doesn't know what to say if he could. Will just smiles. 'Maybe
a Merlot. Ill
see you later.' He
closes the door
and Hannibal still can't move to follow him, to... what?
Reason with him? Kill
him? He
hears his front door open and
close and carefully puts down the plate he's been
holding. If he isn't going to
stop Will, and he's so far from being capable of harming
him badly enough to do
that, it leaves only three options open to him. Suicide
isn't
something he will ever consider and running away is for
men who can't think
their way around a problem. If Will knows then somewhere
along the line he has
made a mistake and there will be evidence somewhere. He
has no choice but to face
this head on and wait for the right opportunity to side
step onto a different
path. He cleans up from breakfast, takes his time with
the dishes, thinking it
would be a good domestic scene for the FBI agents to
find him in, put that tiny
doubt in their minds, but no one comes bursting in
through the front door. He
calls the office
and cancels his appointments for the day, he doesn't
want to be arrested in
front of a patient. He asks if anyone has been looking
for him or asking for
him but Mona says no. She sounds the same as always,
there are no stresses in
her voice to alert him to danger. He
puts on some
music and picks up a book but he is too distracted to
read. He'll miss Will, he
realises, more than he�ll miss anything else in his
life, with the obvious
exception of his liberty. Around
eleven he
hears a single siren approaching the house and steels
himself for the unwelcome
invasion but the car passes by, doesn't stop, continues
passed and fades from
his ears. He
goes for a walk
at lunchtime and nothing seems suspicious or out of
place. He eats at a perfect
little cafe on the corner of the park and amuses himself
watching as they pass
by. Maybe it�s taking time to put together the right
size team that Will feels
is enough to capture him. Maybe by warning him, Will is
giving him the chance
to get away. At least in the asylum Will would have
access to him if he wants
it. He won't run. And if there are other arrangements he
should be making prior
to his arrest, he can't think what they are. He
returns to the
house but no one is waiting for him. He makes a pot of
tea and tries again to
read. Finally he takes up a pencil and draws from memory
a sketch of the Duomo
in Florence. Maybe they will let him hang it on the wall
of his cell in place
of a view. At
just after six he
hears a key in the front door and looks up. There are no
red and blue lights at
the windows, no shouting of instructions or arming of
weapons. Instead, the
living room door opens and there's just Will holding a
bottle of red wine and
looking at him in an odd way. 'Am
I early?� Hannibal
can�t do
anything but stare at him. He opens his mouth but finds
he has no idea what he
wants to say. Finally, as Will slips into the room and
puts the wine on the low
table in front of the couch, he decides on the direct
approach. �Where
are the FBI
agents, Will?� His
fingers linger
on the top of the bottle and a small sad smile touches
his lips. Then he raises
his head and looks at Hannibal and he knows to his
abject relief that no one is
coming.� �Langley?�
�You�re
playing
games.� Will�s
eyebrows
raise and he can read the implication: look who�s
talking. He picks up the
bottle he�s bought. �Why
don�t I pour us
a drink?� He
takes the wine to
the kitchen and returns less than a minute later with
two glasses, the cork
gone from the neck. He hands Hannibal a glass and sits
down in the armchair
opposite the couch on which Hannibal has been sitting
and drawing. �You�ve
been sitting
here all day, waiting for the FBI?� he asks, interested,
and Hannibal takes a
sniff of the red wine. It�s good, expensive; it�s a
bottle Will put thought
into buying. �I
went out for
lunch,� he replies. Will
takes a sip of
his drink and it occurs to Hannibal that he could be
wearing a wire but he
dismisses the idea almost immediately. Will, bless him,
wouldn�t deceive him in
that way. He would rather just call Jack in to pick him
up based on suspicion
and get the truth out of Hannibal simply by asking him
for it. �What
made you think
the FBI would be coming?� �I
believe that�s
what you implied before you left this morning.� Putting
down his
glass, lacing his fingers, Will takes a deep breath.
�Why did you kill Dr
Chiltern? And please, do me the favour of not insulting
me by lying.� Hannibal
decides not
to tell the truth either. �I didn�t like him.� Will
smiles
hesitantly. �I didn�t either.� He
can�t resist. �Then
maybe I killed him for you.� The smiles vanishes. �Why
haven�t you told
Crawford?� �Because
they would
very likely put you in the same cell I�ve just got out
of and I wouldn�t wish
that on my worst enemy.� �You
think I�m your worst
enemy?� Will
looks up. �Are
you?� It�s
the trust and
pleading in those eyes that has the capability of
flooring him as nothing else
ever has. He�s certain Will isn�t aware of how much he
reaches out to him when
he looks at him like that. Hannibal shakes his head.
�Not anymore.� �You
framed me. Then
you freed me.� He looks confused. �Why?� �Because
I imagined
it was my plan for you. And it was for a time. But when
I saw you behind those
bars I realised I was wrong. Tell me,
Will, why aren�t you angry?� �Oh,
I am. I�ve been
angry for two days. I knew yesterday when I saw
Chiltern�s body. I stepped back
and saw everything, saw you making him suffer, saw you
take his liver to cook
it for me as some sort of apology.� �Last
night, you
didn�t say anything. We made love....� �Because
I love
you.� He smiles in that self-effacing way that he has.
His words steal
Hannibal�s breath for a second but they don�t seem to be
any kind of revelation
to Will. Like everything terrible that�s ever happened
to him, he just accepts
the truth in his heart. �I should have expected that I
would fall in love with
a serial killer. No wonder Alana ran a mile when I
kissed her.� Hannibal
takes a
sniff of the wine. It�s very, very good. �Will....� But
he honestly doesn�t
know what to say. He has no idea what love would even
feel like. �Did
you kill them
all? The copycats?� He nods. �Why?� �You
know why. Now
it�s I who am in your hands, Will.� He points this out
very carefully. �You
have my word that I won�t ever hurt you, or do anything
to hurt you, again.� �I
know better than
to ask if you�ll stop killing.� He
hesitates. �I
could promise you I will... slow down. Stop hunting on
your doorstep. Stop
copying your cases.� �Why
would you
promise me that?� �Because,
my sweet
Will, although I�ve never actually been in love I do
recognise many of its
symptoms in myself when I think about you.� It�s
worth it for
the smile. He imagines he would do a great many things
to see that smile. �How
many people
have I eaten?� he asks, and Hannibal experiences a
shiver of excitement at the
tone of his question. There�s a hint of revulsion but
nothing like the level
most people would exhibit. Moreover, Will sounds
curious. �One
or two. I
honestly can�t remember, Will, but you do have a habit
of turning up in time
for dessert. � He
nods, sips his
wine and Hannibal knows what�s coming next. �You
killed
Abigail.� It�s
his one lasting
regret. At the time it was his pi�ce
de r�sistance, but he misses her, he had become fond
of her. Maybe if she
hadn�t worked it out, if she hadn�t seen through
him... but second thoughts
after the fact won�t help anyone. He hears the upset
in Will�s voice and blinks
two tears from his own eyes. �I�m
so sorry, Will. I got carried away by the game.� He
doesn�t need
to act here, these are real emotions, things he isn�t
used to feeling and it
all stems from seeing Will standing behind those bars,
calm and sharp and
finally at peace. A caged animal that�s recognised it�s
out of the reach of its
predators. Out of Hannibal�s reach. He�s broken every
one of his own rules to get
Will back. Abigail was a waste and his ego is to blame
for that. Will
puts down his glass, swipes at his eyes with the back of
his hand
and sniffs. But he doesn�t leave. Hannibal can barely
believe that. The idea
that Will knows everything and isn�t running, isn�t
calling Crawford, isn�t
yelling and screaming and threatening violence on either
of them isn�t
something he knows what to do with. He wants to comfort,
which is something he
barely remember how to do and isn�t sure he should do
under the circumstances. He�s
the cause of
this. Will needs to find his own cure. �Where
do we go from
here?� he asks quietly and to his surprise Will looks
up. �I
don�t want things
to change between us.� �You
still want me
as your lover, despite what you know?� �I
wanted you two
days ago. I wanted you last night. It just goes to show
what a twisted person I
actually am. I know what and who you are but somehow...�
he swallows, shakes
his head, �somehow it makes me feel... safe.� Something
cracks
inside Hannibal on hearing those words, something
breaking open. He feels a
swell of emotion he can�t put a name to but knows
suddenly and without a doubt
that he will protect this man with his own life if needs
be. God help anyone,
including Jack Crawford, who tries to lay a finger on
him, who draws even the
tiniest speck of blood or puts a single tear in his eye.
He
reaches between
them and surrounds one of Will�s hands with his own. �You
have my word
that I will keep you that way.� He
doubts it�s his
word but more the tone of his voice that brings that
expression to Will�s face
� the play of that smile over his closed mouth, the way
it almost, almost
touches his eyes. Will�s
fingers curl
over his wrist and he says, �Thank you.� They
make love
upstairs in Hannibal�s bed and there�s a different
quality to it then there has
been previously. They undress one another slowly before
Hannibal lies Will down
on the silk comforter like a china doll and maps out his
body, his myriad
scars, the places on his skin where he is sensitive and
the places he has no
feeling at all. He pushes one of Will�s knees to the
side and slides into his
body with ease, keeping them as close as he can. His
movements inside Will are
slow and languorous as he peppers him with kisses and
tiny nips, turning the
whole act into some form of worship he hadn�t believed
himself capable of until
now. They�re
so close,
Will�s hands are on his back, his cock trapped between
their sweat-slick
bellies, the exquisite pleasure written all over his
face; those same
sensations that are running along Hannibal�s nerves.
He�s never felt more
alive, never felt so much for anyone, all these feelings
he has for Will. Lowering
his head he kisses him, sliding his tongue into his
mouth, tasting him and
being tasted. Will�s nails scrape over his shoulder
blades and down his back
and he groans, arching into it before thrusting back
inside him. His
orgasm hits hard
and unexpected, forehead bowed to Will�s shoulder, arms
shaking with the effort
of holding him up, he can feel himself pulsing inside
Will�s body and slowly
becomes aware of a slick stickiness on his skin that can
only be Will�s own
climax. It has the heat and texture of drying blood and
he closes his eyes for
a moment to imagine twin wounds seeping into one
another. But it isn�t a
violent thought. He wishes no such injury to this man
beneath him. He
lets his arms
give way and rolls half to the side, slipping out of
Will, one leg still
wrapped over one muscled thigh, his arm possessively
around Will�s slim waist.
He�s thin bordering on scrawny. He needs to eat more and
better, needs to
recover from his myriad ordeals with someone he trusts
in a place he�s
comfortable. Hannibal
lays his head on
the pillow and waits for Will to look at him. The
knowledge he now carries
doesn�t show in his eyes and that�s good. All he sees is
a wary happiness that
he can work to draw out, a nervous smile that has
nothing to do with fear and
the beginnings of an odd sort of peace. He
leans forward and
kisses Will�s mouth. He isn�t sure what to say so he
doesn�t say anything and
Will doesn�t seem to expect or need him to. He�s certain
that somewhere down
the line those three words people like to use so much
will fall from his lips
as easily as �good morning� but he won�t say them until
he�s certain he
understands what they mean. He won�t insult Will by
lying. Not ever again. In
him he�s found a
partner, an equal. Will won�t ever condone what he does
but he�ll never, ever
turn him in. He�ll trust Hannibal and in turn will
demand trust. He�ll heal, he�ll
grow. He�ll sleep peacefully in Hannibal�s arms and
won�t wake in the grip of a
nightmare or somewhere other than where he fell asleep.
For the first time in
his life, Hannibal will have a real friend, someone who
knows him and sees him
and still chooses to like him, to be in his company, to
spend time with him. He�s
never had someone like that in his life before. He never
imagined he would
have, not him. He�s always thought he was destined to be
alone, for his path to
cross the paths of others but never to run alongside and
definitely never to
share with someone. Even when he first met Will he
didn�t imagine he had found
a companion, a mate. A man fragile enough to interest
him yet strong enough to
walk with him in the dark places they both know. A man
who is different to most
other people, who is breaking and desperate for someone
like Hannibal to put
him together. Hannibal�s sorry for shattering him so
completely before starting
to fit the pieces back. He will make up for it. He makes
a silent promise to Will
as he sleeps, entangled with the man who all but
destroyed him, murdered for
him and fed him the trophies he took. Will�s
ability to
forgive can�t be infinite, but Hannibal has no interest
in finding its limits.
He understands that to lose him would be to kill him,
and the world would
indeed be a smaller, darker, sadder place without him in
it. He
drifts the tips
of his fingers through Will�s dark hair. It�s as soft as
duck down. His long
lashes don�t even flicker. He�s sound asleep. Utterly
comfortable, utterly
secure in his trust of the serial killer and cannibal
he�s chosen to hand his
heart to. Or, if not chosen to, at least has allowed
himself to. If Hannibal
believed in God, he would be sending up a prayer of
thanks. But he doesn�t. How
could a loving God tolerate the existence of someone
like Hannibal amongst his
flock? Instead he presses a chaste kiss to Will�s
forehead before closing his
eyes and resting. He isn�t tired, the adrenaline of the
day and the evening is
still in his system. In a little while he�ll rise and
start to cook for them. Anything
but the liver that�s cooling in his refrigerator. It
would be rude, he
feels, to immediately rub Will�s face in the brutal
honest truth of the secret
he�s chosen to keep. He has all the time in the world to
let him come to terms
with it by himself. He�s not going anywhere, and neither
is Will. |