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War Without End Sheridan paused at the entrance to the Sleep Room, watching Sinclair as he folded his robe. The journey ahead of them was a long one and he had the feeling that the Ambassador was going much further than the rest of them. Outwardly he seemed so calm but John prided himself on being able to see deeper than the masks and cloaks people pulled around them every day. There was a tension beneath the peaceful façade. He waited until Sinclair saw him, smiled at him, before saying, "Lois and Clark?" The smile widened. "I thought you'd like that." Sheridan read the invitation in the response - the words, the open expression, the body language. He stepped into the room. "You're not like I expected you to be." Amber eyes regarded him curiously for a time. "Neither are you, Captain." "John. And in what way?" But Jeff shook his head with a private smile and turn to place his folded robe on the low shelf beside him. Meeting the challenge that hadn't yet been given form, John removed his own jacket, throwing it haphazardly across one of the steeply angled beds. "If we're Lois and Clark, which one of us is Superman?" When Jeff turned back, his expression was one of delight, eyes dancing. "Do you surprise everyone you meet, I wonder." He wondered aloud and John felt the scrutiny now. Sheridan shrugged, dismissing it. "Can I ask you a personal question?" Sinclair grinned. "Wasn't your last question personal?" Again, he ignored the insight. "Were you and Garibaldi lovers?" The ghost of something passed over the ambassador's face, the smile fading to memory. "Yes." John sighed softly and when he spoke, when he met the deep hazel gaze again, there was a little of his own regret mixed in with what he felt for Michael. "You're not coming back, are you?" Stepping through the line of narrow beds, Jeff stopped a foot or two from his counterpart. "How did you know?" Sapphire held amber unflinchingly, despite the growing intensity of the look between them. "It's in everything you say." "You're very perceptive." "Maybe. Maybe others just don't see what's right in front of them." Jeff stared at him and John knew he saw everything. "Can I ask you a personal question, Captain?" John nodded. "Are you and Mike lovers?" He allowed a knowing smile to touch his mouth as he shook his head. "No." "Why not?" "Because you've been standing between us ever since we met. Now... when I return to Babylon 5 without you, he'll kill me. And your ghost will always stand between us." Jeff chuckled softly. "He wouldn't kill you. Rant, rave, shout and scream." A deep sadness crept into his voice. "Maybe even hit the bottle." Hope. "If you could help him...?" "Perhaps." John took a step closer. "Perhaps I could take a message back with me?" "What kind of message?" Another step. John breathed deep. Something had been flowing between them from the moment they'd set eyes on each other in the war room. There was a sick feeling that this was pre-ordained, meant to be, but he hoped not. He wanted to throw this back into fate's face. 'One that will banish your ghost once you're dead,' had been his line, the one playing through his mind when he'd asked the question. But before he could speak, large hands were cradling his head and Jeff's mouth was on his. John carded his fingers into the silky brown hair either side of the other's temple and parted his lips, sucking hungrily on the demanding tongue. It didn't matter that they were aboard the White Star. It didn't matter that privacy barely existed here, that anyone could walk into the room at any moment. Both had a feeling no one would. Both knew somehow that they could do this and for a short time at least the ship wouldn't encounter any situation requiring their attention and leadership. "Who are you?" John asked on a heavy breath. "Jeffery Sinclair." "No. Who will you be when you've got to where you're going?" Just above his own, Jeff's lips moved but no words passed them. Pulling back just enough, those big hands moved down, either side of John's throat, thumbs stroking over the set jaw. "I could ask the same of you." "And you'd get the same answer." Silence. Jeff nodded with a knowing smile and John continued, "So... I guess the only question we can answer is which one of us is Lois Lane?" ~ "John!" Seeing Sheridan reappear in a time rift, Sinclair leapt forward, reaching for the other man. His hand slipped into the white shimmer - the visual effect of the rip - and touched cold fingers. Sudden tears sprang in his eyes as he saw... the future. John's future. He felt the pain, the sickness, the betrayal. And he clung on, not letting go, however much it hurt. "No. God, no...." Using the power from Sinclair's time stabiliser the rift settled. The white light faded and John gracefully dropped to the deck, fingers locked with Sinclair's. Jeff went with him, crouching down, his free hand cradling John's head from the cold of the floor. Storm blue eyes opened but the relief was short lived. John saw the tears, saw the expression on the same face he'd seen peace and abandonment. "Jeff? What...?" For a moment the ambassador was torn between a man he'd loved for a long time and a man in whom he'd found release at a time he really needed it. A very beautiful man. One he couldn't spend the coming, lonely years worrying about. "John.... Please. Don't give my message to Michael." It was the most difficult thing he'd ever had to say. "What?" "Trust me. Please. Don't give him that power over you." "Jeff...." "You know I love him, John. But you're Superman and believe me - he will become Lex Luther." ~ It was a choice he knew he had to make. All the way back, John lay on the angled Minbari bed on which he and Jeff had fucked and thought about the ambassador's final private words to him. But Garibaldi was waiting for him when they reached Babylon 5. And the pain in his eyes drew forth words he would eventually regret. "Michael. I have a message for you from Sinclair. One more... intimate than the one he left on the BabCom unit." |