HE'S LEAVING HOME AGAIN




Bernard was sat at his desk, cigarette in one hand and a book in the other, half empty glass of red wine within reach a few inches from his finger tips.  To the casual observer this would seem to be his natural pose; this was how Bernard always “looked after” his shop.  But if anyone was brave enough to approach Bernard and look a little closer they would have seen the whiteness of his knuckles gripping the book much tighter than was really necessary, the tightness in his jaw as he ground his teeth, the rattle as his hand shook refilling his glass. 

Bernard was angry.  Nothing so unusual about that, anger was what kept him going, kept him alert.  But he was really angry, and it was all Manny’s fault.  Again, not so unusual, Manny had a knack of driving Bernard crazy.  He would insist on moving things all the time, “keeping the place tidy” Manny called it.  And the constantly being cheerful, was there really any need for it all of the time?  Bernard refocused his eyes on the page he was reading; he would enjoy this book and not let Manny bother him anymore.

“Bernard, could you lend me a hand please?”  Manny’s voice called from upstairs.

Bernard growled to himself and brought the book even closer to his face, he was reading and not to be disturbed.

“Bernard!” 

There was a crash as a large heavy object tumbled down the stairs.

“Never mind!”

Bernard shuffled in his seat, determined not to notice as Manny struggled into the shop weighed down by two bulging suitcases.

“Bernard, did you not hear me call?  I couldn’t manage my cases, ended up dropping one down the stairs.  Bernard?”

Not taking his eyes from the book Bernard fumbled for his cigarettes, taking one from the packet he lit it.

Manny stood in the middle of the shop “Well I suppose this is it then?  Time I was off.  Rowena will be waiting, she’s cooking me a welcome to you new home meal.”  He turned slowly drinking in every detail of this strange store.  The dirt, the damp, the strange musty smell, the books scattered with no real effort to put them into any kind of category ever made. 

Then his eyes came to rest on Bernard.  The strange drunken Irishman with whom he’d spent the last few years of his life.  Even after all this time Manny still found Bernard to be a bit of a mystery.  Just when you had yourself convinced that he really was a heartless selfish bastard you would find him showing his softer side, even if only for the briefest of moments. 

“Bernard, are you not going to say goodbye?  I am going now.”

Bernard grumbled still not looking up “Yes, goodbye.”

“That’s it?  That’s all you can manage?” Manny looked over at his employer with hurt eyes, “please Bernard, I know I’ll be back tomorrow for work, but still, couldn’t you just…”  Manny reached out his hand begging Bernard for the farewell he deserved.

Bernard, finally tearing his eyes from the still unread page, looked up and for a moment felt a pang of guilt as he saw the pain on Mannys face.  But only a moment, after all it was Manny that was deserting him, going off to live with that Rowena, who was going to look after Bernard now?  Did he think of that, no.  Still, it wasn’t like Bernard needed Manny, he had coped perfectly well without him before the bumbling bearded freak came into the shop and would cope just as well after he had gone.  And to prove his point he would shake Mannys hand and wish him well.

In a fluid motion Bernard left his seat and crossed the room, it always amazed Manny how gracefully Bernard could move, like a dancer, despite being almost constantly drunk.  Bernard reached out his hand to Manny, causing a grin to break out across Mannys face as he reached back shaking the hand of his employer, no friend, in a goodbye of sorts.

“I..er.. hope it all goes well.. with you know.. Rowena and all.”  Bernard’s words stumbled out of his mouth in his gentle Irish lilt, no longer sure what to say.

“Thank you Bernard.  I’d better go.  See you in the morning.”

Manny picked up his cases and moved over to the door, struggling to turn the handle and hold both cases at the same time.  Just as he managed to prise the door open it slammed shut of its own accord.  Sighing Manny dropped his cases and looked up to see Bernard leaning with his hand on the door, keeping it closed.

“Don’t go” Bernard’s voice was quiet, hushed, Manny wasn’t sure if he misheard.   He looked at Bernard, but Bernard’s eyes were downcast, not meeting Mannys gaze.

“What did you say?”

“I mean.. err.. you don’t have to go, not if you don’t want to..”

Manny was confused, why would he not want to, why would Bernard think…. Oh that was it.  Bernard couldn’t bear to think of Manny being happy.  Bernard was always miserable and he wanted everyone else to be the same way.  Of all the mean, rotten things, this was low, even for Bernard.

“Of course I want to go, why wouldn’t I?  I’m moving in with my girlfriend, I’m happy, you know HAPPY!”

“Do you love her?”

The question threw Manny.  Did he love her?  He liked having a girlfriend at long last, it had been much too long, he enjoyed her company, they had laughs.  But love?  He’d never really thought about it.  At least he was getting out of this dump.

“That’s none of your business. Besides, look around you, what is there to stay here for.”

“There’s me.”   Bernard raised his hand and Manny flinched half expecting a blow, it wouldn’t be the first time that Bernard had been violent.  Instead Bernard’s hand came to rest lightly on Mannys cheek.

“You could stay for me.”

Manny searched his brain for an answer, but came up empty.  This conversation was not going the way he expected, he had to leave, he would be late, Rowena was expecting him.  Just then Bernard, his hand still on Mannys cheek, stepped forward, closing the gap between them, and leaning forward kissed Manny softly on the lips.

Manny was surprised, startled, but, he realised, not appalled.  Bernard’s kiss had been gentle, caring, not what he usually associated with this loud obnoxious man.  Manny realised the silence was growing and searched for something, anything to say, but words failed him. 

Bernard, taking Mannys silence as rejection, dropped his hand and began to turn away… Manny reached out grabbing Bernard’s arm he pulled the other man towards him.  “I could stay”.  He leaned in and kissed Bernard, sinking his hands into the thick dark hair marvelling at the passion he felt, the softness of Bernard’s lips, the sweet taste of wine, the urgency of Bernard’s tongue, Bernard’s hands grasping at Mannys shirt, finding their way to the bare flesh beneath.

After what felt like an eternity the men broke apart both gasping, breathless.

“I should call Rowena” Manny panted.  An expression of hurt crossed Bernard’s face; his eyes turning downward, Manny quickly continued, “I need to tell her I wont be moving in.”

Bernard smiled a smile that Manny had never seen before; it lit his eyes with a magical glow.  “But you don’t have to call her right now” Bernard insisted reaching over to lock the shop door, Bernard took his friend by the hand and lead him up the stairs.

Half way up the stairs Bernard’s steps faltered.  What was he doing?  This was crazy.  This was MANNY!  Manny, the constant thorn in his side, the bane of his life, and now he was going to…?  Bernard stopped on the landing and turning towards Manny, it wasn’t too late, nothing had really happened, Manny could still go to Rowena’s, she need never know.  Then he looked into Manny’s eyes, felt the soft squeeze of his hand, saw the gentle smile.  “Bernard, is everything OK?”  Bernard returned Manny’s smile, all doubt banished from his mind “It will be” he replied and opened the door to Manny’s room.

There had been no discussion about which room to use, Manny’s just seemed the most obvious, the most hospitable.   But as Bernard took Manny in his arms he couldn’t have been less interested in his surroundings.  Their embrace began softly, kisses mingled with sighs.  Bernard stoked Manny’s hair, amazed at it softness, aware of how beautiful it had always looked as the light shone on it.  Manny in turn sank his hands into Bernard’s mass of dark hair, always so unruly, but so wonderful to the touch.  Manny slowly slid his hands over Bernard’s shoulders and found their way to the buttons of Bernard’s shirt, undoing them and sliding the shirt and jacket together into a heap on the floor, his hands stoking the smooth chest of this wonderful man.  Bernard repeated the motion with Manny‘s shirt and pulled the man towards him marvelling at the sensation of the warm skin against his own, pushing against the other man with the full length of his body, aware of each sensation, also aware that the experience was arousing Manny as much as it was Bernard.  The evidence of both men’s arousal being pushed together in their embrace causing involuntary moans and sighs. 

Unable to wait any longer trousers were quickly unfastened and kicked to the floor as the men eased themselves down towards the bed, never ceasing the constant kisses and caresses.  Lying face to face with arms clutching each other tightly, Bernard ran his tongue lightly over Manny’s lips sighing as Manny kissed him passionately before pausing for a moment.  “Bernard, are you sure about this?”  Manny was almost afraid to ask the question, but at the same time he needed to know the answer.  Bernard smiled, “Make love to me Manny” he breathed, that was all the reassurance Manny needed.  He ran his hand along Bernard’s thigh before slowly wrapping his fingers around the other man’s impressive erection.  Bernard moaned with pleasure at the touch his body thrilled with the sensation as Manny’s hand moved with a slow steady rhythm.  Bernard moved his own hand until finding the evidence of Manny’s arousal which he took gently but firmly in his hand and smiled as he heard the same moans come from Manny’s throat.  The men moved in time, the air punctuated with sighs and moans which were being muffled under kisses.  After a while the moans became stronger, the breath heavier, then Bernard’s body tensed before convulsing in pleasure as his orgasm took over “oh god, Manny”, it was like nothing he had ever experienced before, it had never been this good.  Mere seconds later Manny replied with his own moans as his own orgasm began, shaking his body leaving him breathless but more satisfied that he ever knew it was possible to be.  

Then they lay quietly in each other’s arms for a while, listening to their heartbeats returning to a normal rhythm, the breathing to calm down.

“Bernard, why did you never say anything before?” 
Bernard smiled, stroking Manny’s cheek and kissing him softly.  “I didn’t know, not until I thought I would lose you.”
“I’m not going anywhere” Manny reassured him, “not ever.”


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Fran rattled the door handle angrily and looked at her watch.  It was 2 o’clock in the afternoon, what was the shop doing closed at this time?  She rapped impatiently on the glass until finally she saw Bernard approach the door to let her in.

“What’s the shop doing closed?” asked Fran without waiting for an answer “I have wine, I thought you might be missing Manny”.  She held out the carrier bag to Bernard.  Taking the bottles out of the bag Bernard sat behind his desk and promptly began to uncork a bottle and fill their glasses.

Something seemed different about him but Fran could not put her finger on it.  Hair – messy, unkempt, as if he had only just got out of bed – nothing unusual their.  Clothes rumpled as if being picked straight up of the floor - still nothing unusual.  Hang on – was that a smile that was playing across Bernard’s mouth? Surely not.

Just then Manny loped out from the back of the shop and Fran looked at him in surprise. “Manny? What are you still doing here?  Shouldn’t you be at Rowena’s by now?”

Was this what Bernard was so happy about?  Had something gone wrong.  Not even Bernard would be happy about his friend’s relationship going wrong, would he?  He wouldn’t gloat over Mannys unhappiness, would he?  Fran wasn’t so sure, and was about to reprimand Bernard for whatever he had obviously done to spoil things but the words died on her tongue.  Manny wasn’t unhappy at all.  His smile was as complete as that on Bernard’s face.

“I got a better offer” Manny informed Fran and, standing behind Bernard’s chair Manny placed his hands on the other mans shoulders.  A look of concern crossed Fran’s face, Bernard would not be pleased with Manny touching him in this way, she tensed waiting for the slap, the shout, the anger to come spilling from the Irishman.  But when Bernard moved it was to raise his own hands and cover those on his shoulders tenderly.  Bernard then looked over his shoulder to Manny as Manny lent down kissing his friend tenderly on the mouth.

Fran gasped in obvious surprise.  What on earth was going on?  Yesterday Manny was ready to leave and start a new life with Rowena and now he and Bernard were… what were they… judging by the look on their faces, the constant touching as Manny took his chair close to Bernard.. it seemed that they were a couple. 

Fran shook her head trying to clear her thoughts; she looked over at her two dearest friends and was touched by their obvious happiness, reaching out her hand Fran took the glass of wine Bernard had placed before her.

“Well all right then” she stated, still suffering from the surprise but pleased to see her friends happy.  Fran raised her glass in a half toast and drank its contents before settling back into her chair.

Life was an interesting journey with these two men, and Fran was happy to be along for the ride.

“So come on the Fran” said Bernard lighting a cigarette, “Tell us about your day.”